10 clear signs someone is taking advantage of your kindness

There’s a fine line between being generous and being taken for a ride.

You see, when you’re a kind-hearted individual, it’s not always easy to tell when someone is taking advantage of your good nature.

It’s one thing to help those who truly appreciate your efforts, and another to be exploited by someone who’s just out for their own gain.

That’s why I’ve put together this list of 10 clear signs that someone might be taking advantage of your kindness. It’s a guide to help you distinguish between genuine need and manipulation.

So, if you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether your kindness is being exploited, keep reading. This list could be just what you need to see things more clearly.

1) They only reach out when they need something

We all have those people in our lives, those who only seem to remember us when they need a favor.

Now, it’s one thing to help a friend in need. That’s just being a good person. But if someone only ever contacts you when they want something, and never just to catch up or see how you’re doing, that’s a pretty clear sign they might be taking advantage of your kindness.

You’re not a resource to be used and discarded at will. You’re a person with feelings and needs of your own. So, if you notice this pattern of behavior, it might be time to reassess the relationship.

Being kind doesn’t mean being a doormat. It’s perfectly okay to say no sometimes, especially when you feel you’re being used.

2) They’re never available when you need help

Let me share something personal with you. I had a friend, let’s call her Lisa. Lisa was always quick to call on me when she needed a favor. Whether it was moving apartments, babysitting her kids, or helping with a work project, I was her go-to person. Because that’s what friends do, right?

But then I noticed something. When I was the one in need of help, Lisa was suddenly nowhere to be found. Excuses ranged from being too busy, not feeling well, or simply forgetting about the commitments she made to me.

That’s when I realized Lisa wasn’t really a friend at all. She was just someone who had gotten used to taking advantage of my kindness.

It hurt to acknowledge it, but it was an important lesson. If someone is always eager to take but never willing to give, they’re likely taking you for granted and benefiting from your good nature. It’s a clear sign that they might not value you as much as you deserve.

3) They don’t show gratitude for your help

Gratitude is a powerful emotion, and it’s a fundamental part of human relationships. A study published in Emotion, a journal of the American Psychological Association, found that gratitude can actually help build and strengthen relationships.

Now, if someone constantly takes from you but never shows any signs of appreciation, it might be a telltale sign that they’re taking advantage of your kindness.

A simple ‘thank you’ can go a long way in expressing gratitude. But if these words are absent, and you’re left feeling unappreciated, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.

After all, everyone deserves to be acknowledged for their kindness and efforts.

4) They don’t respect your boundaries

Boundaries are crucial in any relationship. They define what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t.

Now, if someone continually pushes your boundaries or downright ignores them, that’s a clear sign they might be taking advantage of your kindness. They see your willingness to help as an opportunity to demand more than you’re comfortable with, and that’s not okay.

It could be as simple as asking for favors when you’ve already made it clear you’re busy or making you feel guilty for saying no. Either way, it’s a sign of disrespect and a clear indication that they value their needs more than your comfort.

It’s not selfish to enforce your boundaries. It’s essential for your well-being and self-respect.

5) They never reciprocate

Reciprocity is a fundamental element of any healthy relationship. It’s about give and take, not just take.

Now, if you find that you’re always the one giving – your time, your resources, your help – and the other person never seems to reciprocate, it’s a pretty clear sign they might be taking advantage of your kindness.

It’s not about keeping score or expecting something in return every time you do a good deed. But if there’s a consistent pattern of one-sidedness, it might be time to address the issue.

Everyone deserves to be in a relationship where there’s mutual respect and reciprocity. So don’t settle for less.

6) They always play the victim

It’s hard to see someone you care about in distress. Your instinct is to rush in and help, to ease their pain. That’s just a testament to your kind heart.

But if someone is always playing the victim, always spinning tales of woe and hardship, you might want to take a step back.

It’s a harsh reality, but some people use their problems as a way to manipulate others into constantly helping them. They prey on your sympathy, turning every situation into an opportunity for you to rescue them.

It’s not your job to fix everyone’s problems. Your kindness is a beautiful part of who you are, but don’t let it be used as a tool for manipulation. You deserve relationships that are based on mutual support and respect, not constant crisis management.

7) They disregard your feelings

I remember this one time, I was extremely tired and drained from a hectic week at work. I had planned to take the weekend off for some much-needed rest. Just as I was settling in with a good book, my phone rang. It was a friend asking for help with a last-minute project.

I explained how I was feeling, but my friend brushed it off, insisting that they really needed my help. Despite my exhaustion, I ended up helping them out.

This situation repeated itself more than once. Each time, my feelings and needs were disregarded. It was as if my kindness was expected, regardless of how I was feeling.

That’s when I realized that my friend didn’t really care about my feelings or well-being. They were more interested in what they could get from me.

If someone consistently disregards your feelings, especially when you’re not in a position to help them, they’re likely taking advantage of your kindness.

8) They get angry when you say no

“No” is a complete sentence. It’s a boundary-setting word, and there’s no obligation to justify or explain it.

But here’s the tricky part. If someone gets angry or upset when you say no to them, it’s a clear sign they’ve been taking advantage of your kindness.

You see, they’ve become so accustomed to hearing you say yes, that any deviation from this pattern feels like an affront. But the truth is, if they genuinely respected and valued you, they would understand and accept your decision.

How people react to your “no” says more about them than it does about you. Don’t let their anger or disappointment sway you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.

9) They make you feel guilty

Guilt is a powerful emotion, and unfortunately, it’s one that some people are not above using to their advantage.

If someone frequently makes you feel guilty for not helping them or meeting their needs, it’s a clear sign they might be taking advantage of your kindness.

They might say things like, “I thought I could count on you,” or “I don’t know what I’ll do without your help.” This is a tactic designed to pull at your heartstrings and coerce you into doing what they want.

True friends and loved ones will respect your decisions and won’t manipulate your feelings. Don’t let anyone use guilt as a weapon against your kind nature.

10) It feels one-sided

At the end of the day, trust your gut. If the relationship or interaction feels one-sided, it probably is. If you’re always the one giving, always the one sacrificing, it’s likely that your kindness is being taken advantage of.

You deserve relationships that are balanced and reciprocal. You deserve to be treated with the same kindness and respect that you so freely give to others.

Never forget that.