Have you ever found yourself wondering if a friend—or even a new acquaintance—harbors hidden feelings for you?
Sometimes, the signs are there, just beneath the surface, but the person can’t quite bring themselves to admit it.
As a practicing relationship counselor for many years, I’ve seen my share of people trying to decode mixed signals.
It can be thrilling, confusing, or downright frustrating to sense an attraction that remains unspoken.
Here at DM News, we’re all about helping you navigate life’s twists and turns with clarity. In that spirit, I’ve laid out eight telltale signs that someone is smitten but is keeping those feelings under wraps.
Let’s dive in.
1. They seek out any excuse to be near you
You might notice that this person always seems to pop up where you are, even if it’s just to “accidentally” bump into you in the hallway or at the local coffee shop.
If you find them lingering in your personal space, it could be more than just a friendly gesture.
When someone likes you, they often find ways—big or small—to share the same physical space.
Even if they don’t say much in the moment, simply being close can feel like a major victory to them.
It’s a subconscious urge to connect, without having to expose their feelings outright.
In my counseling practice, I’ve heard stories about these “coincidental” run-ins that turned out to be carefully orchestrated.
Sometimes, actions speak louder than words.
2. They mirror your body language
Have you ever been chatting with someone and noticed they’re mirroring your posture or gestures?
This is a classic sign of attraction.
If you cross your legs, they cross theirs. If you lean forward, they do the same.
It’s a subtle psychological phenomenon.
Mirroring helps foster a feeling of closeness. They might not mean to do it, but it’s a way of quietly saying, “I feel comfortable with you.”
When I see couples in my practice who are in the “are-we-more-than-friends?” stage, one of the quickest tells is how they sit. Even if they insist they’re “just friends,” their bodies reveal a stronger bond.
So if you catch someone aligning their posture with yours or even matching your energy level, consider it a clue that they might be feeling a deeper pull.
3. They remember tiny details about you
In casual relationships, it’s easy to forget the little stuff—like your go-to Starbucks order or the name of your childhood pet.
But someone who’s attracted to you is far more likely to lock away even the smallest details about your life.
Maybe you mentioned your favorite band in passing, and suddenly, they’re recommending new songs from that very group.
Or you said you were traveling to a certain city next month, and they follow up a week later, asking if you’ve booked your flights yet.
These tidbits prove they’re listening closely—and that they care.
4. They get nervous when you’re around
Have you noticed an uptick in their awkward laughter, fidgeting, or stumbling over words whenever you enter the room?
Nervous excitement can be a huge giveaway that someone is interested in you.
That rapid shift from calm to anxious energy isn’t random.
I once worked with a client who swore she was in love with a co-worker.
However, she was convinced he had zero interest in her.
Then she realized how he’d knock over his coffee mug or drop his pen whenever she showed up at his desk.
Over time, it became clear it wasn’t klutziness—it was nerves.
If you spot those small slip-ups on a regular basis, it might be their body reacting to the rush of emotions they feel around you.
They might try to hide it, but these jittery moments are often the body’s way of saying, “I can’t control how much I like you, so you’ll see it in my shaking hands.”
5. They tease or banter in a playful (but not mean) way
Some people show their affection through gentle teasing.
It’s a bit like kids on a playground pulling each other’s pigtails—immature, sure, but it’s often rooted in liking someone.
Of course, it shouldn’t be actual bullying or cruel jabs.
But the occasional lighthearted poke at your taste in music or the way you always order extra napkins at restaurants can signify deeper feelings.
Banter is a unique form of flirting. It’s a low-stakes way for someone to test if you’re receptive to their playful side.
Someone who teases you is trying to learn how you respond, how you hold your ground, and how comfortable you are with them.
The gist is that teasing can spark chemistry. It might be disguised as friendly ribbing, but it can actually be a channel for deeper feelings.
Keep an eye on their eyes (and smiles) when they poke fun at you. If there’s a warmth there, it might be more than just jokes.
6. They show hints of jealousy
Jealousy can be a green-eyed monster, but it’s also a strong indicator of underlying attraction.
If this person stiffens or changes their tone when you mention someone you’re dating—or even just a friend they don’t know—it’s often a sign that something deeper is brewing.
I’ve seen people deny jealousy until they’re blue in the face, usually because they don’t want to reveal their true feelings.
But watch the subtle clues: an eye roll, a grunt, or a quick subject change. If you pick up on those signals, it could mean they’re more invested in you than they’re letting on.
7. They make extra effort with your friends or family
Someone who likes you often wants to leave a good impression on the people closest to you.
It’s a way of expanding their connection to you by winning over your inner circle.
They might ask about your family’s well-being, or they’ll go out of their way to learn about your best friend’s hobbies.
“Relationships are built on empathy and trust,” as Brene Brown has famously emphasized.
When a person is attracted to you, they subconsciously understand that winning points with your loved ones can boost their standing in your eyes.
They’re hoping to show you, through your loved ones, that they’re a reliable and caring presence in your life.
8. They give confusing compliments and then backtrack
Ever get a compliment from someone—like, “You look amazing tonight”—only for them to quickly follow it with a shrug or laugh, as if to say, “Oh, I didn’t mean anything by it”? People who are wrestling with unspoken attraction often do this.
They slip up and show their true feelings, then reel it back in fear they might have revealed too much.
This back-and-forth can be very telling.
They might say, “That outfit really suits you,” but the moment you smile, they get flustered and change the subject to the weather.
A quick, heartfelt comment can be a window into what they’re really thinking—if you pay close attention.
Final thoughts
It’s not always easy to decode unspoken attraction, especially when fear of rejection or uncertainty keeps people locked in their own heads.
But if you notice several of these signs appearing in someone’s behavior, there’s a strong chance they’re feeling more for you than they’re comfortable expressing.
One of the best ways to clarify the situation is by gently encouraging open communication.
You don’t have to confront them directly or back them into a corner.
Simply create an environment where they feel safe sharing, and see if they open up.
If you’re the one who’s interested in them, you can drop small hints, too, showing your willingness to talk about deeper feelings. Attraction doesn’t have to remain a guessing game.
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