7 ways to politely deal with difficult people, according to psychology

If you’ve ever had to interact with someone difficult, you know it can be a real test of patience.

Dealing with difficult people is something most of us experience on a regular basis, and it can be incredibly frustrating and stressful.

You might encounter them at work, in your social circles, or even within your family. They may be overly critical, stubborn, or just plain rude.

Remember though, their behavior isn’t a reflection of you. It’s about them.

The good news is psychology offers some handy tips for managing these tricky interactions.

Let’s dive in and learn how to navigate through these challenging encounters without losing our cool.

1) Practice active listening

Active listening is more than just hearing someone’s words, it’s about truly understanding and empathizing with their perspective.

When dealing with a difficult person, it’s easy to tune out or get defensive. However, psychology suggests that active listening can help diffuse tension and create a more positive interaction.

So, when you find yourself in a challenging conversation, try to really listen to what the other person is saying. Try not to interrupt, even if you disagree. Instead, let them finish their thought before you respond.

Remember, understanding doesn’t mean agreement. It’s about acknowledging their viewpoint.

This approach can help reduce the intensity of the conversation and give you a better chance to express your own thoughts calmly and effectively.

Doing so not only shows respect for the other person but also demonstrates your maturity and emotional intelligence – which can go a long way in managing difficult interactions.

2) Agree with them

It might sound odd, but sometimes agreeing with a difficult person can be a powerful tool.

If someone is being particularly stubborn or argumentative, they’re often expecting you to oppose them. By agreeing with them – or at least finding something in their argument to agree with – you can catch them off guard and defuse the situation.

This doesn’t mean you have to compromise your own standpoint or values. It’s more about demonstrating that you’re open to their perspective and that you’re not just there to dispute everything they say.

For instance, if someone is complaining about a problem, instead of immediately jumping in with solutions (which they may not be ready to hear), you could say, “I can see why that would be frustrating for you.”

This validates their emotions and helps them feel heard. It also creates a space for more productive conversation, where they might be more open to different viewpoints or solutions.

3) Use the power of positivity

The energy you bring into a conversation can greatly influence its outcome. When faced with a difficult person, it’s natural to adopt a defensive or negative stance. However, opting for a positive approach can yield better results.

When you approach the situation with kindness and positivity, it creates a psychological shift known as emotional contagion. Human beings naturally mirror the emotions of those around them. This means your positive demeanor can actually influence the other person to also adopt a more positive attitude.

Try complimenting them, showing appreciation for their insights, or simply maintaining a cheerful tone and demeanor. It might not always change their disposition entirely, but it can certainly help to alleviate some of the tension and open up avenues for more constructive dialogue.

4) Offer assistance

Sometimes, people act out when they’re under stress or facing challenges they don’t know how to handle. In such cases, offering to lend a hand can make a world of difference.

If someone is being difficult, it might be because they’re overwhelmed or struggling with something. While it’s not your job to solve their problems, offering to help in small ways can show them that you’re not an adversary but an ally.

Maybe they’re having trouble understanding a task at work, or they’re dealing with personal issues that are affecting their mood. By extending your help, you’re showing them that you care and that you’re willing to support them.

This act of kindness can sometimes be enough to soften their demeanor and make them more amenable to constructive conversation.

5) Set healthy boundaries

We all have that one person in our lives who seems to know just how to push our buttons. It’s easy to feel trapped in these interactions, leading to frustration and stress.

But remember, you have the power to define the terms of your interactions. Setting clear boundaries is an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship, even with difficult people.

Decide what behavior you will tolerate and what you won’t. Politely but firmly communicate these boundaries when they are crossed. For example, you could say, “I understand your point of view, but I would appreciate it if we could discuss this without raising our voices.”

This isn’t about shutting down conversation but creating a respectful space where both parties can express their thoughts and feelings without feeling attacked or disrespected. It’s about taking control of the situation and ensuring that interactions remain as positive and productive as possible.

6) Stay calm and composed

Maintaining your cool when dealing with a difficult person can be a real challenge. But, it’s also one of the most effective strategies.

I remember being in a situation where a colleague was consistently negative and confrontational. It was easy to get drawn into their drama and respond with equal negativity. However, I realized that losing my temper wasn’t helping the situation, and in fact, it only escalated the tension.

Instead, I made a conscious decision to stay calm and composed during our interactions, even when they were particularly tough. I practiced deep breathing exercises before conversations and reminded myself not to take their words personally.

Over time, this approach made a significant difference. By not feeding into the drama, I was able to create an environment that was less charged and more conducive to productive dialogue. It also helped me feel less stressed and more in control of the situation.

7) Know when to walk away

While it’s important to try and foster positive interactions, there comes a point when you need to recognize that not every relationship can be salvaged. Some people may be so entrenched in their ways that no amount of patience, understanding, or communication can bridge the gap.

In such cases, it’s crucial to protect your own mental and emotional wellbeing. If someone consistently brings negativity into your life and shows no signs of changing, it may be time to distance yourself.

This doesn’t mean you have to be rude or confrontational. Simply express that their behavior is affecting you negatively and that you think it would be best to limit your interactions.

You deserve respect and kindness, just like everyone else. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

Conclusion

Mastering the art of dealing with difficult people is an invaluable skill, and it’s one that can significantly enhance your personal and professional life.

This article has provided some key strategies to help you navigate these challenging interactions, but ultimately, the power lies with you to implement them.

Remember, every interaction is an opportunity for growth and learning. Even the most difficult ones can teach us patience, empathy, and resilience.

Because at the end of the day, your ability to manage difficult people successfully is a testament to your strength and emotional intelligence. And that’s something truly worth celebrating.