9 types of friends who are simply not worth having in your life, says psychology

1) They monopolize your time

Monopolizing your time doesn’t always mean they’re physically present every second of the day. It can be subtle and may take place over an extended period.

You may not even realize it’s happening until you find yourself always tied up with this friend, leaving little or no time for other friends, family, or personal pursuits.

Perhaps this friend:

• Always needs your help or advice
• Wants to hang out at the last minute
• Calls you at all hours of the day and night

They may frequently express how they don’t like your other friends or make derogatory remarks about your family.

They might conveniently plan fun activities that overlap with your other commitments or insist that you accompany them to events you have no interest in attending.

You might also notice that they seem to need your emotional support disproportionately on days when you have other plans.

This monopolization of your time is a sign of a toxic friendship. It leaves you feeling drained and isolated from other important relationships and aspects of your life.

2) They’re consistently negative

We all have our off days, but a friend who is constantly under a cloud of negativity can be emotionally draining.

This type of friend always seems to have something to complain about, whether it’s their job, their relationships, or the weather.

Their pessimistic outlook on life can be contagious. You may notice that after spending time with them, you feel down, demotivated, or start seeing things more negatively too.

This is known as emotional contagion – when we unconsciously start mimicking the emotions of those around us.

3) They’re overly positive

While it’s great to have friends who can see the silver lining in every cloud, there’s a limit.

If a friend is perpetually brimming with positivity to the point where they dismiss or invalidate your struggles and feelings, it might be a sign of toxicity.

This type of friend tends to brush off your concerns with an “it could be worse” or “look on the bright side” approach.

While this may seem like they’re trying to help, it can actually make you feel unheard and unsupported.

Friendships are about balance and understanding. It’s important to have someone who can celebrate the good times with you, but equally essential to have someone who can sit with you in your tough times and acknowledge your feelings.

4) They’re emotionally unavailable

We all have our personal battles, but a friend who is consistently emotionally unavailable can be truly damaging.

This type of friend is often detached, indifferent, or even dismissive when it comes to your feelings and experiences.

You might find that they’re always eager to talk about their own problems, but when it’s your turn to share, they suddenly have somewhere else to be. Maybe they brush off your feelings as unimportant, or change the subject quickly.

This kind of emotional unavailability can leave you feeling like you’re talking to a wall. It can make you question whether your thoughts and feelings matter at all.

5) They’re always the victim

Having a friend who constantly sees themselves as the victim can be emotionally exhausting.

This type of friend is perpetually caught in a cycle of misfortune, but they never seem to recognize their own role in these situations.

They always have a story about being wronged, mistreated, or misunderstood. Yet, they rarely take responsibility for their actions or decisions. It’s always someone else’s fault.

While it’s important to empathize with our friends when they’re going through hard times, a friend who always plays the victim can drain you emotionally.

It’s also challenging to help them grow or learn from their experiences because they don’t see any need for change.

6) They’re constantly competing with you

Having a friend who turns everything into a competition can be incredibly draining.

This type of friend always needs to be one step ahead, whether it’s about:

• Their job
• Love life
• Their weekend plans

You get a promotion at work, and suddenly, they’re talking about their own career advancements. You buy a new car, and they start discussing how they’re thinking of getting an even more expensive model.

While a healthy dose of competition can sometimes be motivating, constant one-upmanship can make you feel like you’re in a never-ending race rather than a supportive friendship.

7) They never pick up the tab

We all have that one friend who mysteriously disappears when the bill arrives or always forgets their wallet at home.

While it’s completely okay to split the bill or take turns picking up the tab, a friend who consistently avoids paying their fair share can be a sign of a deeper issue.

It’s not really about the money; it’s about respect and consideration. This type of behavior can make you feel undervalued and taken advantage of. Friendship should be about give and take, both emotionally and practically.

8) They don’t respect your boundaries

In any relationship, respecting boundaries is non-negotiable. It’s a glaring red flag if you have a friend who:

• Consistently crosses the line
• Disregards your comfort zone
• Dismisses your feelings

Maybe they’re always showing up unannounced, digging into your personal matters without invitation, or pushing you to do things you’re uncomfortable with.

Of course, it’s important to challenge each other in a friendship to grow, but there’s a big difference between healthy challenges and blatant disrespect for personal boundaries.

Stand firm in protecting your space and well-being. A true friend will understand and respect your limits.

9) They don’t make you feel good about yourself

At the end of the day, the most important sign of a toxic friendship is how it makes you feel.

If you find yourself consistently feeling down, insecure, or just not good enough around a friend, it’s time to take a step back.

Maybe they’re always criticizing your choices, belittling your achievements, or making snide remarks that chip away at your self-esteem.

They might make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, never knowing when the next insult or negative comment will come.

A real friend should make you feel valued, respected, and loved for who you are. They should lift you up and inspire you to be the best version of yourself.

Final thoughts

Life’s too short to spend it with friends who bring you down, hold you back, or drain your energy.

By recognizing these unhelpful friendship types, you’re not only clearing space but also setting the stage for meaningful connections with people who genuinely support and uplift you.

Remember, the best friendships are built on mutual respect, trust, and joy.

So, take stock of who’s in your circle, let go where you need to, and make room for the friendships that help you thrive.