8 traits of people who constantly dominate conversations (without even realizing it)

There’s always that one person in any group, isn’t there?

The one who somehow manages to steer every conversation in their direction without even batting an eye. It’s as if they have an invisible microphone, and the rest of us are just audience members at their personal TED Talk.

They’re not necessarily bad people, and they probably don’t even realize what they’re doing. But it can be frustrating for everyone else, who just want to get a word in edgewise.

It’s not always about being the loudest or the most assertive.

Sometimes, it’s the subtle cues and habits that make someone a conversation hog. And it’s not always their fault either. Maybe they never learned how to share the conversational spotlight, or perhaps they’re just naturally more talkative.

In this article, we’re going to look at eight traits of people who constantly dominate conversations, often without even realizing it. And who knows, you might even recognize a few traits in yourself!

1) They’re the expert on everything

Ever met someone who seems to have a PhD in every topic under the sun?

These conversation dominators don’t just have an opinion, they have a dissertation ready to present at a moment’s notice. It’s almost as if they believe their knowledge is so superior, it’s their duty to enlighten the rest of us.

While it can be fun to learn new things, it becomes a problem when this trait hinders an open and balanced dialogue. They don’t just share their knowledge, they impose it, leaving little room for others to express their thoughts or experiences.

It’s not that they’re trying to show off or belittle others, at least not consciously. Most of the time, they genuinely believe they’re contributing positively to the conversation. But in their eagerness to share what they know, they often end up overshadowing everyone else.

This trait isn’t about knowledge itself, but rather the way it’s delivered. The key to a good conversation isn’t just about what you say, but also about how you listen and respond to what others have to say.

And that’s something these conversation dominators often forget.

2) They interrupt constantly

We’ve all been there, right in the middle of a juicy story or important point, when suddenly someone cuts in and takes over. It’s like a verbal hit-and-run, leaving you stranded on the conversational highway while they speed off with your topic.

Now, I’m as guilty of this as anyone.

I remember once at a family dinner, my aunt was sharing a heartfelt story about her recent trip to Italy. As she described the Colosseum, I jumped in with my own anecdote about Rome. Before I knew it, the conversation had shifted entirely and my aunt’s story was left unfinished.

At the time, I didn’t even realize what I had done. I was just excited to share my own experience. But looking back, I realize that my interruption not only stole the spotlight from my aunt but also deprived everyone else of hearing the rest of her story.

Interrupting is a classic trait of conversation dominators. It’s not that they don’t care about what others have to say, they just get so caught up in their own thoughts and ideas that they forget to let others finish theirs.

3) They rarely ask questions

Renowned physicist Albert Einstein once said, “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” This nugget of wisdom holds true in the realm of conversations too.

Let’s be honest, we all love a good listener. Someone who asks insightful questions, shows genuine interest and encourages us to elaborate. It makes us feel valued, understood, and it gives the conversation a nice back-and-forth rhythm.

But this isn’t really the forte of conversation dominators.

They’re so busy sharing their thoughts, opinions and experiences that they often forget to ask about yours. They might nod and say “uh-huh” every now and then, but you rarely hear them ask a follow-up question or delve deeper into your point of view.

It’s not that they’re not curious or interested. They just get so wrapped up in their own narrative that they forget to invite others in.

And as Einstein wisely pointed out, questioning is important. Not just for our understanding of the world and the people around us, but also for creating balanced and engaging conversations.

4) They don’t leave pauses for others to speak

Did you know that in a typical conversation, there’s an average pause of about 200 milliseconds between turns?

That’s faster than the blink of an eye! It’s these tiny pauses that give us the cue to speak, to add our thoughts and opinions into the mix.

But conversation dominators often miss these cues. They’re like a freight train of words, barrelling down the track without any stops. They don’t leave pauses for others to jump in, which can make it incredibly hard for anyone else to get a word in.

It’s not that they’re intentionally hogging the floor.

They just have so much to say that they forget to leave room for others. But those subtle pauses are essential in any conversation. They create space for others to contribute, making the conversation more interactive and engaging for everyone involved.

5) They tend to over-explain

There’s a fine line between giving enough information and giving too much. Have you ever been in a conversation where someone explained something in such minute detail that you felt like you were in a lecture rather than a casual chat?

That’s another classic trait of conversation dominators.

They don’t just share an idea or story, they dissect it. They delve into every detail, every nuance, until there’s nothing left to explore. It’s like they’re trying to cover every possible angle of the topic, leaving no room for questions or inputs.

Again, they’re not doing it to belittle or bore you. They just want to make sure they’re getting their point across.

But in doing so, they often overwhelm the conversation and limit the opportunities for others to contribute their thoughts and perspectives.

Conversations should be about mutual exchange, not one-sided monologues. And even though their intentions might be good, over-explaining can easily turn a lively discussion into a dull lecture.

6) They often steer the conversation back to themselves

Some people simply have a knack for turning any topic into a story about them. It could be your new job, the latest movie, or even the weather, but somehow they always find a way to steer the conversation back to themselves.

It’s like they view every conversation as an opportunity to share their experiences, thoughts, and achievements. Even when the topic has nothing to do with them, they find a way to relate it back to their own life.

This isn’t necessarily narcissistic or self-centered behavior. They might just be trying to connect or relate to you on a personal level. But in doing so, they often end up monopolizing the conversation and crowding out other voices.

7) They tend to dismiss differing opinions

In a lively and balanced conversation, differing opinions are welcomed, even encouraged. They add depth and variety, sparking discussions that can be enlightening and stimulating. However, for conversation dominators, this isn’t always the case.

When faced with a differing opinion, they often dismiss it outright or try to convince the other person that their view is the correct one. It’s as if they’re not interested in understanding different perspectives or learning something new, but in asserting their own viewpoints.

Again, this doesn’t necessarily come from a place of arrogance or intolerance.

They might just be passionate about their beliefs and eager to defend them. But by dismissing other viewpoints, they turn the conversation into a battleground rather than a forum for exchange.

Conversations should be about exploration and understanding, not dominance and victory.

When one person constantly dismisses differing opinions, it stifles the conversation and discourages others from sharing their thoughts and ideas.

8) They’re often unaware of their dominating behavior

Perhaps the most interesting trait of conversation dominators is that they often don’t even realize they’re doing it. It’s not a conscious choice or a deliberate attempt to control the conversation.

Rather, it’s a habit formed over time, a part of their communication style that they may not even be aware of.

Just like any habit, it can be hard to spot in oneself.

They might simply see themselves as passionate, knowledgeable, or enthusiastic communicators. They might not realize that their tendency to dominate conversations can come off as overbearing or dismissive to others.

The first step towards changing any behavior is awareness.

If you recognize some of these traits in yourself or someone you know, it’s not a reason to feel bad or guilty. It’s an opportunity to understand and improve your communication style.