What exactly makes a life low-quality? Is it a lack of money? A lack of status and influence?
Surprisingly, it’s usually not about those things at all. People can have every material comfort and still feel deeply unsatisfied (think Jay Gatsby or Ebenezer Scrooge).
If you look at what we know about human nature from a psychological standpoint, you’ll see that a low-quality life stems from something much deeper and subtler.
I’m talking about more abstract matters like attitude, character, and purpose. More often than not, these are the areas that people who live low-quality lives neglect.
In this article, I’ll share 7 of those things. If you’re in need of inspiration to start living a fuller and more meaningful life, you’re in the right place.
Let’s dive in.
1) Personal growth
The first thing you’ll notice about people who live low-quality lives is that they seem to be stuck at a certain level – not growing, not trying anything new, perfectly content to be tucked away in their comfort zones.
This reminds me of the movie “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty,” starring Ben Stiller in the lead role. On the surface, his life isn’t bad – he’s got a stable job at LIFE Magazine and his own apartment. Just a nice, tidy life.
Except that – it was incredibly tedious. So much so that he would engage in fantasy scenarios and daydreams for some excitement.
And here’s the irony of it: those daydreams were fun and comfortable, but they were actually holding him back from experiencing the real moments in his life.
His life only becomes meaningful when he finally embraces real adventures, the ones outside his head and happening in the real world.
According to psychologist Carolyn Rubenstein, “Comfort zones exist in every area in our lives. The key is to be aware of them and examine which comfort zones may not be serving our current goals. Which comfort zones are preventing you from creating change?”
This brings me to the next point…
2) Self-awareness
I like those questions above because they are questions that push us to be more self-aware.
Real talk – it’s just impossible to grow without self-awareness.
You see, self-awareness is like our internal compass. It shows us where we are, where we’ve been, and helps us decide where we want to go.
People who live low-quality lives are that way because they often lack this insight. They simply move through life without really understanding why they make the choices they do and why they feel certain ways.
They may not even know what truly matters to them. Which then begs the question, “How can you build a meaningful life when you don’t even know what holds meaning for you?”
Without self-awareness, it’s easy to drift through life reacting to things instead of making intentional choices. Life happens to you, instead of the other way around.
3) Emotional regulation
This is closely connected to my previous point, as emotional regulation depends, first and foremost, on being aware of your emotions and reactions.
A friend of mine struggles with this so much that I’d go so far as to say that he’s a slave to his emotions.
When he’s sad or angry, his whole day becomes a disaster. If he doesn’t feel like doing something, he won’t, even if he knows it’s necessary.
His emotions control his reactions, his decisions, his relationships.
I hate to say it, but that’s a really poor way to live. As Psychology Today puts it:
“There are obvious hazards of not properly moderating emotions like anger, anxiety, or fear: harm to relationships from overreaction, unnecessary suffering, foregone opportunities that seemed too daunting.
“Certain ways of regulating emotion regulation, such as regularly bottling them in, may also be associated with lower well-being and satisfaction with relationships.”
If you want a high-quality life, don’t neglect emotional regulation. Emotional intelligence, after all, is one of the biggest predictors of success in life – both personally and professionally.
4) Meaningful connections
Earlier I mentioned Ebenezer Scrooge – I know he’s fictional, but he’s the perfect example of how one could have every comfort they could imagine, yet still live a miserable, low-quality life because they had no meaningful connections.
In case you didn’t know, social connectedness is a key driver of well-being and resilience. We’re just happier and healthier when we’ve got a good degree of social interaction.
As psychologist Esther Perel so wisely said, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.”
Research from the Blue Zones – the regions of the world where people have exceptionally long and happy lives – also bears out the wisdom of this.
So don’t let yourself become isolated from others. Take the time to connect with people. It’s one of the wisest investments you can ever make in life.
5) Physical health and wellness
Of course, we can’t deny that our physical health plays a role in the quality of our lives.
People with low-quality lives tend to neglect this area. I myself used to struggle in this aspect of my life.
Exercise just “wasn’t for me”. Not only was I a potato chip addict, but I’d also pair it with binge-watching. And sleep? Ah, that was something expendable for me.
Fast forward a few years, and my bad habits caught up to me – I ended up with constant fatigue and hormonal imbalances.
True enough, as the saying goes, “If you don’t make time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness.”
So learn from my mistakes. Make wellness a priority so you can truly enjoy everything life has to offer.
6) Sense of purpose
Let me ask you a question: What do you think is the point of your life?
It sounds harsh, I know, but this is a question that people with low-quality lives find difficult to answer.
If it’s simply to enjoy the finer things in life and feel pleasure, well then, here’s something you might not want to hear: research suggests that there’s more to life than that.
Apparently, it’s a sense of purpose that makes life meaningful and high-quality.
Without it, life can easily fall into autopilot. You’re just going to work, paying bills, ticking off checkboxes day after day after day…without any real spark or color.
Most people think of purpose as something lofty or grand, but really, it doesn’t have to be. The important thing is that it has a giving nature. That it goes beyond just yourself.
In other words, you don’t need to change the world and all that. You can simply help others or create something you care about.
Start by asking yourself what you can contribute instead of what you can get. It’s a great way to find out just how bright a light you can be for the world.
7) Positive mindset and gratitude
Lastly, do you believe that life is what you make of it?
I’m a firm believer in that, which is why it’s so important to have a positive outlook in life.
People who live low-quality lives tend to have a negative mindset, which affects how they see the world. They focus on what’s wrong, and that’s mostly what they find – problems, stress, and disappointments.
But those who practice gratitude, they seek the good, and find the good. It really is a matter of perspective.
This is perhaps the most powerful thing gratitude can do: it shifts our mind from scarcity to abundance.
It makes us see blessings everywhere and for everyone. There’s no need to hoard or compete like hell, because there’s enough to go around!
With this kind of mindset, you’ll start looking at life a different way – richer, fresher, and full of possibilities.
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