We’ve all had conversations that didn’t go as planned. Often, it’s not what we say but how we approach communication that causes misunderstandings.
Highly skilled communicators know to avoid certain behaviors that can create tension or confusion. Whether it’s dominating a conversation, dismissing someone’s point of view, or failing to listen, these are mistakes you want to steer clear of.
By understanding what top communicators never do, you can strengthen your interactions and ensure your message is both clear and impactful.
Here are seven things that highly skilled communicators never do – and neither should you if you’re looking to step up your communication game.
1) They never interrupt
An art that’s often overlooked in the world of communication is the power of silence.
When we’re in conversation, we might feel the urge to jump in, to add our thoughts, to correct or to advise. It seems like the right thing to do, right?
But here’s a secret: highly skilled communicators never interrupt.
This is a tough one, I know. You’re brimming with ideas, you want to contribute and share your perspective. But by interrupting, you’re not just breaking the flow of conversation, you’re also sending a message that your words are more important than theirs.
Highly skilled communicators value the other person’s thoughts and words.
They understand that by listening, they’re not just being polite, they’re also gaining insight and understanding.
They let the other person finish their thoughts completely, before they share their own.
So next time you find yourself wanting to interject, pause for a moment. Let them finish. Not only will this make you a better communicator, but it will also make you a better listener – and that’s a skill worth having.
2) They never let their emotions take control
It’s something we’ve all been guilty of at some point or another: letting our emotions dictate our words.
I remember a time when I was in a heated argument with a close friend. The more we spoke, the higher our voices got, and the more our emotions started to take control. In the heat of the moment, I said things I didn’t mean and ended up hurting my friend deeply.
Highly skilled communicators avoid this pitfall. They understand that emotions, especially strong ones, can cloud judgment and lead to words that can’t be taken back. They know that once words are out there, they have an impact and they can’t be unsaid.
As psychologist Ari Tuckman says, “Good communication is actually good emotion regulation.”
It’s not about suppressing your feelings or pretending they don’t exist. It’s about managing them in a way that allows you to communicate effectively and respectfully. It’s about taking a step back, calming down, and approaching the situation with a clear head.
So from my personal experience, I learned the hard way that letting your emotions take control is something highly skilled communicators never do. And it’s a lesson I won’t forget.
3) They never use language to belittle others
American author Mark Twain once said, “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see”. This speaks volumes about the power of our words and how they can be used.
Highly skilled communicators are well aware of this power. They understand that words can be a tool for connection, understanding and kindness. But they also know that they can be a weapon, a way to belittle, hurt and divide.
What sets them apart is that they consciously choose the former.
They never use their words to belittle others. They choose their words carefully, with respect and understanding. They know that a conversation is not a battleground, but a platform for exchange of ideas.
Twain’s quote has always resonated with me because it reminds me of the importance of kindness in communication.
Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about what we say but how we say it. And highly skilled communicators understand this better than anyone else.
4) They never ignore body language
Albert Mehrabian, a famed professor of psychology, conducted a study that revealed only 7% of communication is based on the actual words we say. The remaining 93% is split between tone of voice and body language.
Highly skilled communicators know this all too well. They don’t just listen to words, they read the entire situation.
They pay attention to the non-verbal cues – the timing and pace of speech, the tone of voice, the posture and gestures. It’s like they have an additional sense that picks up on all these subtle signals.
In other words, they understand that communication is a holistic process, where every little detail matters. They realize that sometimes, it’s not just about what you say, but how you say it and how you present yourself while saying it.
So next time you’re in a conversation, try not to focus solely on the words being spoken. Pay attention to the entire picture.
You’ll be surprised at what you can learn when you start reading between the lines – or in this case, between the gestures.
5) They never make assumptions
We’ve talked about the importance of listening, observing body language and controlling our emotions. But there’s another thing that highly skilled communicators are really good at – they never make assumptions.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of assuming what the other person is thinking or feeling. We base these assumptions on our own experiences, our emotions and sometimes, our fears. But more often than not, these assumptions are off the mark.
Highly skilled communicators understand this. They know that assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.
So instead of assuming, they ask. They seek to understand the other person’s perspective, their thoughts and feelings.
They understand that everyone has a unique viewpoint, shaped by their own experiences and circumstances. And it’s only when we take the time to truly understand these viewpoints that we can communicate effectively.
If you want to be a skilled communicator yourself, you’ll do well to master this skill. Don’t jump to conclusions or make assumptions. Ask questions and seek to understand.
6) They never disregard feedback
Feedback, whether positive or negative, is a valuable tool in improving communication skills. It’s like a mirror that shows us where we’re succeeding and where there’s room for improvement.
But here’s the thing: not everyone is open to feedback. Some consider it as an attack on their abilities or personality, while others just shrug it off, thinking they know better.
Highly skilled communicators, on the other hand, never disregard feedback. They welcome it with open arms, knowing that it’s an opportunity for growth and learning.
They understand that communication is a two-way street. They consider feedback as a gift from the other party – a gift that helps them understand how they’re being perceived and how they can improve.
So the next time you receive feedback, don’t brush it off. Embrace it, ponder over it and use it as a stepping stone towards becoming a better communicator.
7) They never stop learning
The field of communication is vast and ever-changing. With new social platforms, technologies, and cultural shifts constantly emerging, the way we communicate continues to evolve.
This is something that highly skilled communicators are acutely aware of. They understand that to stay effective and relevant, they need to continuously learn and adapt. They never consider themselves as ‘finished products’, but rather as ‘works in progress’.
They stay curious, open-minded, and eager to learn. They read widely, engage in diverse conversations, and seek opportunities to expand their communication repertoire.
Think about it this way: communication is like a musical instrument, and the most skilled communicators are those who practice daily, continually refining their skills and exploring new techniques.
Final reflections
Improving communication doesn’t happen overnight, but avoiding these seven common mistakes is a great place to start.
Whether in personal conversations or professional settings, adopting the habits of highly skilled communicators can transform the way you interact with others.
By focusing on active listening, empathy, and mutual respect, you can foster deeper connections and convey your message with clarity and confidence.
The power to communicate effectively is within your reach—start by learning what to leave behind.
Neuroscientist reveals a new way to manifest more financial abundance
Breakthrough Columbia study confirms the brain region is 250 million years old, the size of a walnut and accessible inside your brain right now.
