8 subtle signs your partner doesn’t support you enough emotionally

Ever felt like your partner is there physically but not quite there emotionally?

Hey there, Tina Fey here. I know a thing or two about relationships—both the good and the bad.

Emotional support is one of those things that can be easy to overlook, yet it’s essential for a truly fulfilling relationship.

Whether it’s celebrating your wins, comforting you when things get tough, or simply being someone you can lean on, a supportive partner makes all the difference.

But sometimes, the signs of emotional neglect are subtle, and they creep into our relationships quietly.

In this article, we’ll uncover eight subtle signs that may indicate your partner isn’t giving you the emotional support you need.

Recognizing these patterns isn’t about placing blame—it’s about understanding what a nurturing partnership should feel like.

1) They’re not really listening

Have you ever had that feeling when you’re pouring your heart out, and your partner’s eyes are on their phone or TV show? It’s as if you’re talking to a wall.

Emotional support starts with being present—truly present—during conversations. It’s about:

• Actively listening
• Engaging
• Showing genuine interest in what you have to say

But when your partner seems more interested in their phone or the latest Netflix series than in your day or feelings, it could be a subtle sign they’re not offering the emotional support you need.

Love is about connection and understanding. And that starts with giving each other the time and attention we deserve.

2) They dismiss your feelings

I’ve been there, friends. You’re upset about something, and your partner tells you you’re overreacting or being too sensitive.

It feels like a slap in the face, doesn’t it?

When your partner dismisses or minimizes your feelings, it can feel like they’re rejecting a part of you.

Emotional support is about validating your partner’s feelings, not disregarding them.

3) They’re always too busy for you

Has this ever happened to you? You’re eager to share your day, seek comfort, or just enjoy a quiet moment together, but your partner is always too busy.

Now don’t get me wrong. We all have our commitments and responsibilities.

But when “I’m busy” becomes a constant refrain, it might be a sign that your emotional needs are not being met.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk about how crucial it is for partners to make time for each other. It’s about prioritizing and valuing the relationship enough to make it a significant part of your life.

What I’ve learned in my years of working with couples is that it’s essential to find a balance between individual life and shared life in a relationship. When partners consistently make each other a priority, it strengthens the bond and builds a lasting foundation of trust and intimacy that withstands life’s demands.

4) They’re always there – physically

Now, this might sound a bit counterintuitive. Isn’t being there for your partner a good thing? Absolutely, but there’s a catch.

Being there physically doesn’t necessarily mean they’re there for you emotionally.

Emotional support goes beyond mere physical presence. It’s about empathy, understanding, and engaging on an emotional level.

It might seem like a paradox, but sometimes, even when your partner is always around, you can still feel alone.

If they’re physically present but emotionally distant – always in the same room but never really with you – it’s a subtle sign that they may not be supporting you enough emotionally.

It’s not just about being in the same space. It’s about sharing that space on an emotional level.

This brings me to the next point…

5) They avoid emotional topics

6) They rarely express appreciation

Here’s the raw, honest truth: if your partner rarely expresses appreciation for you or the things you do, it can make you feel undervalued and emotionally unsupported.

Appreciation, as simple as it may seem, is a huge part of emotional support.

It’s not about grand gestures or expensive gifts. It’s about acknowledging the small things, saying thank you for a home-cooked meal or expressing gratitude for your unwavering support when they had a rough day at work.

We all want to feel seen, valued and loved. And sometimes, a simple ‘thank you’ or ‘I appreciate you’ can make all the difference.

7) They don’t offer comfort during tough times

I recall a time in my life when I was going through a particularly tough phase and my partner at the time just didn’t know how to comfort me.

Instead of offering a listening ear or a comforting hug, they’d tell me to “just get over it.”

As the wise Brené Brown once said, “Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.'”

8) They don’t understand your needs

We all have unique emotional needs. And in a relationship, it’s crucial that these needs are understood and respected.

If your partner fails to comprehend what you need emotionally—be it words of affirmation, quality time, or physical touch—it can make you feel unheard and neglected.

A healthy relationship involves understanding each other’s needs and working together to meet them.

Wrapping up

Recognizing the signs of emotional neglect can be eye-opening, but it’s also an important step toward building the kind of relationship you deserve.

Emotional support isn’t just a “nice-to-have”; it’s the backbone of a strong, connected partnership.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into the dynamics of emotional support and provide practical strategies to build healthier relationships.

Remember, relationships are a journey, and sometimes all it takes is a gentle nudge to help both of you grow closer and more supportive of one another.

Here’s to creating a partnership where you both feel truly understood, valued, and encouraged every step of the way!