Ever had that gut feeling that someone’s belittling you, but you can’t quite put your finger on how?
Narcissists are masters at making you feel small—often using just a few well-chosen words to assert their superiority, without you even realizing it at first.
These phrases can be so subtle that you might doubt yourself, questioning if you’re overreacting.
But the truth is, narcissists thrive on creating power dynamics where they’re always one step above.
In this article, we’ll uncover 8 phrases narcissists use when they think they’re better than you. Let’s dive in and spot the red flags!
1) “I don’t see it that way”
This phrase is a classic example of the subtle ways a narcissist can dismiss your perspective. It’s not an outright rejection of your opinion, but it’s meant to subtly undermine you and reinforce their superiority.
For instance, if you’re discussing a problem you faced at work and the narcissist says, “I don’t see it that way,” it’s their way of asserting that their viewpoint holds more value.
The subtext here is that if they don’t see it, it probably doesn’t exist or isn’t important.
This phrase can be especially damaging as it tends to make you question your own judgment and perspective.
It’s a subtle way for the narcissist to keep control and maintain their perceived superiority without seeming overtly condescending or dismissive.
Everyone has their unique perspectives, and in a healthy conversation, all viewpoints should be respected and considered. So don’t let this subtle form of manipulation make you second-guess yourself.
2) “You’re too sensitive”
At first glance, this phrase might seem like a well-meaning observation or even advice. But when used by a narcissist, it serves a subtly manipulative purpose.
The scenario might play out like this: you express hurt or frustration over something they’ve done or said. Then instead of acknowledging their role in your feelings, they turn the tables and make it about your reaction – “you’re too sensitive.”
This phrase is designed to trivialize your feelings and reinforce their superiority by painting you as emotionally fragile or overly dramatic.
It’s their way of deflecting responsibility for their actions and maintaining their own self-image.
However, it’s important to remember that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to express discomfort or hurt. Don’t let anyone undermine your right to feel and express emotions.
3) “I knew you couldn’t do it”
This phrase is a manifestation of the narcissist’s need to feel superior and in control. When they say “I knew you couldn’t do it”, it serves two primary purposes.
Firstly, it’s an attempt to chip away at your self-esteem, making you feel incapable and dependent on them.
Secondly, it gratifies their need for power by positioning them as the more capable and intelligent party.
According to research by psychologists, such negative affirmations can seriously impact one’s self-esteem and performance over time, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy where you start believing and living up to the negative image portrayed by the narcissist.
The truth is, your capabilities are not defined by anyone else’s opinion of you.
So focus on your strengths and don’t let anyone’s negativity cloud your self-perception.
4) “You just don’t get it, do you?”
Hearing this phrase can make you feel small and misunderstood.
When a narcissist says, “You just don’t get it, do you?”, it’s not just a comment on your understanding. It’s a subtle way of asserting their intellectual dominance and making you question your own intelligence.
In moments like these, it’s crucial to remember that nobody has the right to belittle your understanding or make you feel unintelligent. Communication should be a bridge to understanding, not a weapon to assert dominance.
So, next time you hear this phrase, take a deep breath and remind yourself of your worth. You’re more than capable of understanding anything; sometimes, it just takes a little more time or a different explanation.
5) “I don’t need anyone”
This phrase might seem like a simple declaration of independence, but when spoken by a narcissist, it carries a different weight.
In relationships or friendships, this statement often surfaces during heated arguments or when the narcissist feels threatened.
It’s their way of asserting control and power, implying that they’re above needing others, including you.
But in reality, we all need others in some form or another. This statement is less about their independence and more about making you feel unworthy or disposable.
6) “I’ve always been the best at…”
This is a phrase that narcissists often use to assert their supposed superiority. It’s as if they’re constantly trying to prove that they’re better than everyone else in some way or another.
For example, you might be talking about a new skill you’re learning, say painting, and the narcissist would jump in with, “I’ve always been the best at painting. I won several competitions back in the day.”
This isn’t just an attempt to steal your thunder; it’s a way to remind you of their ‘superior’ abilities.
If someone uses this phrase on you, remember that your growth and achievements are unique to you and aren’t diminished by someone else’s past successes or experiences.
7) “You wouldn’t understand”
When a narcissist uses this phrase, it’s an attempt to put you in a box, to label you as someone who just can’t comprehend their level of thinking or experiences.
This is nothing more than a power play, a move to keep you feeling inferior and them feeling superior. They want to keep you guessing, to keep you striving for their approval and understanding.
But here’s the thing. It’s not your job to constantly strive for their validation or decode their complex world.
You have your own wisdom, your own experiences, and your own understanding. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than because they can’t or won’t communicate effectively.
8) “I’m not like other people”
This phrase is a narcissist’s way of setting themselves apart, of claiming they’re unique, special, or superior to others.
It’s a tactic designed to make you believe they’re extraordinary and thus should be treated differently.
However, while everyone is unique in their own way, nobody is inherently more special or superior than anyone else. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, our quirks and idiosyncrasies.
So if a narcissist claims they’re “not like other people,” take it with a grain of salt.
Final thoughts
Recognizing these subtle phrases is the first step in understanding how narcissists manipulate conversations to maintain a sense of superiority.
If you’ve heard any of these phrases, trust your instincts and be aware of how they make you feel.
Narcissists often rely on undermining others to boost their own sense of self-importance, but you don’t have to fall into their trap.
By identifying these behaviors early, you can start setting boundaries and protect yourself from being drawn into their tactics.
Here’s to building relationships that respect, value, and uplift you for who you truly are.
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