10 subtle behaviors of people who raise spoiled and entitled children

When my daughter threw her first tantrum in the middle of a crowded grocery store, I’ll admit it—I caved.

I handed her the candy bar just to get through the checkout line without a scene. At the time, I told myself it was a one-off.

But over time, I started to notice how often she’d test the waters to see what she could get away with.

Parenting has this way of sneaking up on you. One day, you’re trying to keep the peace; the next, you’re wondering if you’re raising a mini dictator.

It’s so easy to slip into habits that, over time, shape a sense of entitlement in our kids.

So let’s talk honestly. What are the little things we do, often with the best intentions, that can nudge our kids toward becoming spoiled?

Here are ten behaviors that might just be sending the wrong message—and what we can do instead.

1) Giving into tantrums

It’s a universal parenting experience – dealing with a tantrum.

We’ve all been there, in the grocery store or at park, when our little one’s disappointment quickly escalates into a full-blown meltdown.

It’s embarrassing, it’s frustrating, and often, it’s easier to just give in to stop the wailing.

However, this is where we unknowingly plant the seed of entitlement.

By giving in to tantrums, we’re teaching our children that they can get what they want through emotional manipulation.

It’s a tough habit to break once established and can lead to a sense of entitlement as they grow.

It’s okay to say ‘no’ and mean it. Consistency is key here – children need to learn that tantrums won’t get them their way.

Now this is easier said than done, but keep your cool and stand your ground. It’ll pay off in the long run.

2) Over-praising

I’ve got to confess, I’m guilty of this one.

Who doesn’t love showering their kids with praise? I mean, it’s a joy to see their faces light up when we compliment them on their drawings, their sports skills, or even their behavior.

But looking back, I’ve realized that too much praise can be counterproductive.

Once, after my son finished his homework, I praised him excessively for his hard work.

The next day, he didn’t lift a finger until I promised the same level of praise. It hit me then – my over-praising had led him to expect constant recognition for basic tasks.

In hindsight, the trick is to balance genuine praise with realistic expectations. Kids need to understand that not every action warrants a trophy.

It’s okay to acknowledge their efforts, but let’s keep our praises grounded and meaningful. This way, we’re not raising children who feel entitled to constant praise and recognition.

3) Shielding them from consequences

We all want to protect our children, it’s a natural instinct.

But sometimes, we can do more harm than good by shielding them from the consequences of their actions.

Here’s something intriguing – a study showed that young adults who avoid negative emotions end up feeling more psychological distress, and those who fully experience their negative emotions have better psychological health.

This highlights the importance of experiencing disappointment and learning how to handle it.

When we repeatedly save our children from facing the results of their actions, we’re subtly teaching them that they can avoid responsibility.

This can create a sense of entitlement, with them believing that rules don’t apply to them.

It’s good for us as parents to step back sometimes and let our children experience the outcomes of their choices. This can be hard, but it’s a crucial part of helping them grow into responsible adults.

4) Overindulging materialistically

With the rise of consumer culture, it’s easy to find ourselves showering our children with the latest toys, gadgets, and clothes.

But overindulging them materially often results in raising children who grow up feeling entitled.

When we provide our kids with everything they want without making them understand the value of these things, we’re subtly implying that they deserve everything they desire.

This can lead to a sense of entitlement and can also make it harder for them to appreciate what they have.

Instead, it’s good to teach our children about the value of money and hard work. Let’s help them understand that not everything they want can be instantly given to them.

This will not only curb their sense of entitlement but also help them develop gratitude and contentment.

5) Not setting boundaries

As parents, we often find ourselves walking the tightrope between being a friend and being a disciplinarian to our children.

However, failing to set clear boundaries can lead to entitled behavior.

Boundaries are essential in teaching children about respect, self-control, and understanding their limits.

When there are no clear boundaries, children can grow up thinking they can do whatever they want, whenever they want.

By setting clear and consistent boundaries, we can guide our children towards understanding that their actions have consequences and that they need to respect other people’s rights and feelings.

6) Neglecting empathy

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it’s easy to overlook the importance of teaching our children about empathy. But failing to do so can inadvertently lead to them becoming self-centered and entitled.

Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is what binds us as a community. It teaches us that the world doesn’t revolve around us alone.

When we neglect to teach our children about empathy, we may unintentionally encourage a mindset where their needs and wants are prioritized over others’.

Because a world seen through the lens of empathy is a world less prone to entitlement.

7) Avoiding difficult conversations

I remember a time when my daughter asked why her friend had more toys than her.

I brushed it off with a quick “because they do.” Looking back, I missed a golden opportunity to have a conversation about privilege, gratitude, and contentment.

When we sidestep tough questions or difficult conversations, we’re indirectly feeding entitlement.

These moments are actually perfect opportunities to instill values that counteract entitlement.

Do not shy away from these conversations. Be it about privilege, inequality, or even failure and disappointment.

They can be uncomfortable, yes, but they’re crucial in raising empathetic and grounded children.

8) Constantly intervening

Here’s something that might go against the grain – stepping in to resolve every conflict or problem our children encounter can actually foster entitlement.

As parents, it’s natural to want to fix everything for our children. But doing so robs them of the opportunity to learn problem-solving skills and resilience.

When we constantly intervene, we’re subtly implying that they’re not capable of handling situations on their own.

This can lead to a sense of entitlement where they expect others to solve their problems for them.

We can always guide and support them, but it’s equally important to let them learn from their own experiences.

9) Not modeling humility

Children are great imitators. They learn more from what they see us do than from what they hear us say. So, if we want to prevent raising entitled children, we need to model humility ourselves.

Humility teaches us to accept our limitations and appreciate others’ strengths.

When children see us acknowledging our mistakes, asking for help when needed, and appreciating others, they learn to do the same.

On the other hand, if we always portray ourselves as infallible or superior, our children may grow up with a skewed sense of self-importance and entitlement.

Let’s be conscious of our actions and attitudes. We’re their first role models. Let’s ensure we’re modeling humility and respect for them to emulate.

10) Lacking consistency

If there’s one thing to really take to heart, it’s this – consistency is key in preventing entitlement.

We can set boundaries, teach empathy, and model humility, but if we’re not consistent in our actions and expectations, it can create confusion and lead to entitled behavior.

According to experts, children thrive on consistency.

It gives them a sense of security and helps them understand what’s expected of them.

When we’re inconsistent with our rules or expectations, it can subtly communicate to them that they can bend the rules to their favor.

Final thoughts

Parenting is like walking a tightrope—juggling love, discipline, and the million little decisions that shape the people our children become.

When I think back to the times I gave in too easily or overdid the praise, it was because I cared so much.

And that’s the tricky part—wanting to protect our kids but also needing to prepare them for the real world.

Here’s what I’ve learned: raising grounded kids means embracing imperfection, modeling empathy, and staying consistent—even when it’s hard.

We have to teach them that the world doesn’t revolve around them, but also make sure they know how much they’re loved within it.

At the end of the day, you can’t completely avoid entitlement—we can just try our best to raise humans who understand their place in the world, respect others, and feel confident enough to face life on their own.