Charisma isn’t some magical trait you’re either born with or not—it’s something you can learn.
And honestly, it starts with knowing the right words to say.
Think about the people who instantly make you feel seen, heard, and valued. It’s not about being fake or putting on a show; it’s about creating real, meaningful connections.
That’s the kind of energy likable people bring into every interaction, and it’s something we can all tap into.
Psychology has uncovered the secret sauce—simple phrases that naturally charismatic people use to draw others in.
These aren’t cheesy lines or tricks; they’re genuine ways to communicate better, build trust, and leave a lasting impression.
Ready to see what these 7 phrases are and how to weave them into your own conversations? Let’s dive in.
1) I understand…
In any interaction, we all want to feel seen, heard, and most importantly, understood.
Psychology tells us that one of the most powerful ways to connect with others is through empathy.
Empathy isn’t just about feeling another person’s pain – it’s about understanding their perspective.
It’s about putting ourselves in their shoes and seeing the world from their point of view. And simply saying “I understand…” can go a long way in making that connection.
When you say “I understand…”, you’re validating the other person’s feelings or experience. You’re telling them that their thoughts and emotions are valid and important.
But this isn’t about pretending to understand or just going through the motions. It’s about genuinely trying to understand another person’s perspective.
So next time you’re in a conversation, try saying “I understand…”.
You might be surprised at how it changes the dynamics of the conversation and makes you more likable and approachable.
2) I was wrong…
It may seem counterintuitive, but admitting when we’re wrong can actually increase our likability.
We often think we need to appear perfect or infallible to be respected. But the truth is, people appreciate authenticity and honesty more than perfection.
This phenomenon, known as the Pratfall Effect, suggests that individuals perceived as highly competent become more likable after committing a minor mistake, as it humanizes them and makes them more relatable.
When you say “I was wrong…”, you’re showing humility and a willingness to learn and grow.
You’re showing that you value truth over ego, and that you’re open to other perspectives. It shows you’re human, just like everyone else, and not afraid to admit it.
3) I don’t know…
Now, this might surprise you, but one of the most powerful phrases likable and charismatic people use is… “I don’t know…”
Yes, you heard it right. Saying “I don’t know” can actually make you more likable.
We often feel like we need to have all the answers. But the truth is, no one has all the answers. And pretending that we do can come off as insincere or even arrogant.
But research indicates that admitting when you don’t know something can foster trust and respect in relationships, as it demonstrates openness and a willingness to learn.
And just like “I was wrong”, saying “I don’t know” shows humility. It shows that you’re honest and authentic.
4) How can I help?
One phrase that naturally charismatic and likable people often use is “How can I help?”
It shows a willingness to extend oneself for the benefit of others.
In my own experiences, I’ve found that offering assistance, even in small ways, can have a profound impact on the way others perceive you.
It’s not about being a doormat or always putting others before yourself, it’s about showing empathy and consideration. The idea is to balance self-care with care for others, creating healthier and more meaningful connections.
5) Tell me more…
Curiosity is a trait often found in charismatic and likable people.
They genuinely want to learn more about others, and one phrase they use to show this is, “Tell me more…”
This simple phrase can make a world of difference in your conversations.
It shows the other person that you’re truly interested in what they have to say, that their thoughts and experiences matter to you.
I remember a quote from Dale Carnegie, the renowned author of “How to Win Friends & Influence People”.
He once said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
This quote has always resonated with me.
I’ve found that when we shift our focus from ourselves to others, we create deeper and more meaningful connections.
6) I appreciate you…
We all want to feel appreciated. It’s a fundamental human desire.
And naturally charismatic people understand this.
They often use the phrase “I appreciate you…” to express their gratitude towards others.
When we express appreciation, we not only make the other person feel good, but we also strengthen our bond with them.
Research indicates that expressing gratitude can enhance relationship satisfaction and increase feelings of closeness between individuals.
I’ve made it a point in my own life to express appreciation regularly. Whether it’s thanking a friend for their support or acknowledging a colleague for their hard work, I’ve found that these three words can have a profound impact.
So, don’t hold back your appreciation. Let the people around you know that you value them.
Trust me, a little appreciation can go a long way!
7) We’re in this together…
Charismatic and likable people have a knack for fostering a sense of unity and camaraderie.
A phrase they often use to achieve this is, “We’re in this together…”
This phrase communicates that you’re not alone – we’re facing whatever challenge or situation that comes our way as a team. It builds a sense of mutual support and shared responsibility.
Incorporating “We’re in this together…” into your conversations can help foster a deeper sense of community and connection. Give it a try – you might be surprised at the positive response!
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Embrace the power of words
So there you have it, seven simple phrases that can help you become more likable and charismatic.
But remember, it’s not just about the words you say – it’s about the intent behind them. Authenticity is key.
There’s a quote by legendary poet Maya Angelou that I always keep in mind. She said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
These phrases are powerful tools, but they’re most effective when used genuinely to make others feel seen, heard, and valued.
As a relationship expert, I’ve seen firsthand how these simple changes in communication can transform relationships and foster deep connections.
It takes practice, but with time these phrases can become a natural part of your conversation.
Remember, true charisma and likability come from a place of genuine connection and empathy towards others.
So start practicing these phrases today. You might be surprised at how they can transform your interactions and relationships.
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