If you were raised by overly lenient parents, you might notice certain characteristics in yourself that seem different from your peers.
This upbringing, marked by high levels of freedom and low levels of discipline, can shape you in unique ways. According to psychology, there are seven specific traits you might find in adults who had permissive parents.
These traits aren’t a personal choice or a sign of weakness. They’re the result of your upbringing and the parenting style your parents adopted.
Remember, everyone’s experience with permissive parenting is different, and it’s not all negative. Understanding these traits can offer valuable insights into your behaviors and reactions.
So, let’s dive in and explore these seven traits.
1) Difficulty with structure and rules
If you were raised by overly lenient parents, you might often struggle with abiding by rules and adhering to structure. This isn’t because you’re inherently rebellious or non-compliant, but simply a reflection of your upbringing.
Growing up, your parents may have given you a high degree of freedom with minimal restrictions. This kind of parenting could have led to a lack of understanding about the importance of rules and guidelines.
In adult life, this can translate to challenges in workplaces or relationships where structure and rules are essential. You might find yourself feeling uncomfortable or resistant when faced with strict deadlines or rigid protocols.
This brings me to the next point…
2) Struggle with self-discipline
If you’re someone who finds it challenging to stick to a workout regimen, a study schedule, or even a healthy eating plan, you’re not alone. This trait is quite common among individuals raised by overly lenient parents.
With the lack of strict rules around homework times, bedtimes, or eating habits, it might be harder for you to impose self-discipline in your adult life.
But don’t beat yourself up over it. This is a common struggle and there are plenty of strategies and resources available to help you build self-discipline over time.
The key is understanding that it’s a skill, and like any other skill, it can be learned and honed with practice.
3) Tendency towards procrastination
The struggle with self-discipline also often leads to a tendency to procrastinate. This isn’t laziness, but rather a result of not being used to a structured environment or strict deadlines in the formative years.
Interestingly, research has shown that procrastination is more about the management of emotions than time.
If you grew up with lenient parents, chances are you weren’t regularly prompted to complete tasks promptly, which could make managing tasks and emotions linked to those tasks more challenging later in life.
Recognizing this can help you develop strategies to overcome procrastination. It’s all about learning to manage your tasks and the emotions associated with them in a timely manner.
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4) A strong sense of creativity
Having been raised by overly lenient parents, you might find that you have a beautifully vibrant creative streak.
The freedom you were given as a child could have provided ample space for your imagination to run wild and for your creative abilities to flourish.
Creativity is a wonderful trait, allowing you to see the world in unique ways and solve problems with innovative solutions. It’s something to be celebrated and nurtured.
However, it’s important to remember that while your creativity is a strength, it doesn’t mean you can’t also excel in more structured tasks or environments. Your upbringing has shaped you in many ways, but it doesn’t define you. You are capable of growth and adaptation.
5) High levels of empathy
Have you ever found yourself feeling deeply affected by someone else’s emotions, even if you barely know them?
People raised by overly lenient parents often develop high levels of empathy, which might seem surprising at first.
Without strict boundaries growing up, they were likely exposed to the full range of emotions—both their own and others’—without much guidance on how to process them.
This exposure often heightens their ability to sense and absorb the feelings of those around them.
While being highly empathetic can be a wonderful trait, it doesn’t come without challenges. They may struggle to set emotional boundaries, taking on the burdens of others at their own expense.
It can lead to feeling overwhelmed or drained, especially in relationships where they’re expected to provide constant emotional support.
Learning how to manage their empathy—offering compassion without losing themselves—is a key step in finding balance.
6) Desire for approval
Growing up with overly lenient parents can sometimes lead to a strong desire for approval in adulthood. For example, imagine a person who constantly seeks validation from their colleagues, friends, or partners.
Why? Well, as a child, they might not have been given much guidance or feedback. Their parents might have taken a “hands-off” approach, leaving the child unsure of where they stood or how well they were doing.
As an adult, this can manifest as a constant need for reassurance or validation that they’re on the right track.
It’s important to remember that seeking approval isn’t necessarily a bad thing – we all like to feel valued and appreciated. But it’s also crucial to develop confidence and self-assurance so that you’re not solely reliant on external validation.
7) Challenge with decision making
Lastly, if you’re the sort who spends half an hour deciding what to order at a restaurant, or if you’re constantly second-guessing your choices, there’s a chance this trait has roots in your upbringing.
Overly lenient parents might have seldom enforced decisions, leaving you in a constant state of choice.
This can lead to a struggle with decision making in adulthood. It’s not that you’re indecisive, but you might lack the confidence to make decisions due to the lack of practice.
It’s time to face the truth – decision making is a part of life. You can’t always avoid it or delay it.
So start small. Make deliberate choices every day, even if they seem trivial.
With time and practice, you’ll find yourself becoming more decisive and confident in your choices.
Wrapping up
Above all, it’s crucial to remember that these traits don’t define you. They’re simply influences from your upbringing. Everyone has their own unique set of characteristics shaped by a myriad of factors, and that’s what makes us who we are.
Having overly lenient parents may have influenced certain aspects of your personality, but it doesn’t dictate your future. You have the power to understand these traits, learn from them, and use them as stepping stones towards growth.
Remember, it’s never too late to adapt and change. Embrace your journey, celebrate your progress, and continue to strive towards becoming the best version of yourself.
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