We all want to find “the one”, right? But sometimes, we could be sharing our lives with the wrong person without even knowing it.
Psychology suggests that there are certain behaviors that indicate you might be with the wrong partner. The catch? Most people don’t recognize these signs.
In this article, I’m going to outline 7 behaviors that people usually display when they’re with the wrong partner, without even realizing it.
Keep reading, you might just save yourself a lot of future heartbreak.
1) They feel drained
It’s no secret that relationships take work. However, there’s a big difference between the normal ups and downs of a relationship and consistently feeling drained.
Psychology suggests that if you’re constantly feeling emotionally, mentally, or even physically drained, it could be a sign you’re with the wrong partner. It’s as if they’re sucking all your energy and joy out of you.
Think about it. Is your partner often the source of your stress rather than your solace? Do you feel like everything is always about them, their problems or their happiness?
If this rings true for you, it may be time to reassess whether this relationship is truly healthy for you. Always remember, a good relationship should make you feel supported, not drained.
2) You often doubt their love for you
In a relationship, it’s natural to have occasional doubts. But they shouldn’t be a constant companion.
Speaking from personal experience, I was once in a relationship where I was always questioning whether my partner truly loved me. Every missed call, every cancelled plan, every terse response, I saw them as signs that their love was fading.
Looking back now, I can see that this constant doubt was a red flag. It was less about their actions and more about the fact that I didn’t feel secure or valued in our relationship.
If you find yourself constantly doubting your partner’s love for you, it could be a sign that you are with the wrong person. A healthy relationship should give you certainty and peace, not constant worry and doubt.
3) You’re constantly making excuses for them
If you find yourself always making excuses for your partner’s behavior, it might be time to take a step back and reassess the situation.
You may find yourself justifying their actions to your friends or even to yourself. “They didn’t mean it like that”, “They’ve had a tough day”, or “They’re just under a lot of stress”.
Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that people often make excuses for their partner’s negative behavior in order to maintain their view of the relationship.
But remember, everyone deserves respect and understanding in their relationship. If your partner’s actions consistently require justification, it might be a sign that you are with the wrong person.
4) You’re always the one making sacrifices
Every relationship involves compromise. But when you’re the only one making sacrifices, it might be a sign you’re with the wrong person.
Are you always the one adjusting your schedule, giving up on your plans, or setting aside your needs for the sake of your partner? If yes, this could be a clear sign that your relationship isn’t balanced.
A healthy relationship is a two-way street. It requires both partners to give and take equally. If you find that you’re always the one giving, it might be time to evaluate whether your partner truly values and respects you.
5) You feel lonely even when you’re together
One of the toughest feelings I’ve had to deal with in my life was feeling lonely while being in a relationship. You know, those moments when you’re sitting right next to your partner but feel miles apart?
When you’re with the right person, they should make you feel loved and connected, not distant and alone. If you frequently feel lonely even when you’re together, it could signal a deeper issue in your relationship.
It’s important to remember that it’s not about the physical proximity but rather emotional closeness. If you’re not able to share your thoughts and feelings openly with your partner or don’t feel heard when you do, it might be a sign that you’re with the wrong person.
6) Your values and future plans don’t align
It’s not uncommon for couples to have differences. However, when it comes to core values and future plans, it’s important to be on the same page.
For example, if one of you dreams of a quiet life in the countryside while the other yearns for the hustle and bustle of city life, this could pose a real problem down the line. Similarly, differing views on marriage, children, or even basic principles like honesty and respect can create a chasm that even love might not bridge.
If you and your partner’s visions for the future are fundamentally misaligned, it could be a sign that you’re with the wrong person. Remember, love is important but it’s not always enough. For a relationship to last, shared goals and values play a crucial role too.
7) You can’t be your true self around them
Above all, if you find that you can’t be your true, authentic self around your partner, it’s a major red flag.
In a healthy relationship, you should feel free to express yourself without fear of judgment or criticism. Your partner should love you for who you are, quirks and all. If you find yourself constantly hiding parts of who you are or changing to fit into their ideal, it’s a sign that you’re with the wrong person.
Being loved for who you truly are is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. Don’t settle for anything less.
Final thoughts: It’s about self-awareness
The complexities of our relationships and the choices we make are often deeply intertwined with our own self-awareness.
Psychological research consistently points to the importance of self-awareness in healthy relationships. When we know ourselves, we can better identify what we need from a partner and what we can’t tolerate.
If you’ve found yourself relating to several of these behaviors, it might be time to take a step back and take an honest look at your relationship.
Every relationship has its ups and downs. But if the downs outnumber the ups or if the ups feel insincere, it may be a signal that you’re with the wrong person.
And always remember this quote from Maya Angelou: “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
Reflect on these words, reflect on your relationship, and most importantly, reflect on what you truly deserve.
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