Hi there, Lachlan Brown here, founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast.
We all want to be likable, but what many don’t realize is that it’s not always about what you say—often, it’s about how you say it.
Body language plays a huge role in how we perceive others and how they perceive us.
Simple cues like making eye contact or offering a genuine smile can go a long way in building rapport.
As body language expert Amy Cuddy says, “Your body language shapes who you are.”
Today, I’m sharing 9 little-known body language tricks that can instantly boost your likability without you saying a word.
So sit back, relax, and let’s dive into the secrets of non-verbal communication that can transform your social interactions.
1) Mirroring
The first trick up our sleeve is mirroring.
This is a powerful tool that can instantly make you more likable.
It’s all about subtly copying the body language, gestures, and facial expressions of the person you’re interacting with.
Why does this work? It’s simple: When we see our own behaviors and expressions reflected in others, we subconsciously perceive them as more relatable and trustworthy.
The keyword here is ‘subtle’. Overdoing it can seem insincere or even creepy.
So, you want to be a mirror, not a parrot.
As renowned psychologist William James once said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
Mirroring validates and appreciates the person you’re engaging with, making you instantly more likable in their eyes.
2) Open posture
Next up is utilizing an open posture. This is a trick I use all the time, and believe me, it works wonders.
Let me share a personal example. I was attending a networking event a while back, and I noticed a group of people who seemed intriguing.
I wanted to join their conversation, but I didn’t want to intrude.
So, instead of crossing my arms or holding my drink close to my chest (which can be perceived as defensive), I kept my body language open.
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I stood tall with my shoulders back and my hands by my side, showing that I was approachable and receptive.
Before I knew it, they naturally included me in their conversation.
Our body language is a silent communicator. An open posture invites people in and makes them feel comfortable around you.
It signals that you’re not only confident but also open to ideas and interactions.
3) Eye contact
The third trick, and one of the most effective ones, is maintaining good eye contact.
When you lock eyes with someone, it not only shows that you’re paying attention but also that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say.
It creates a sense of connection and understanding, which can instantly make you likable.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into the power of connecting with people on a deeper level, eye contact being a pivotal part of it.
It’s important to note that there’s a fine line between engaging eye contact and an intense stare.
You need to find the right balance—hold eye contact long enough to show you’re engaged, but not so long that it becomes uncomfortable.
Eye contact is a simple yet powerful tool that can help you connect more effectively with others, making you more likable in the process.
4) Nodding
Now, let’s talk about nodding. This small gesture can have a big impact on how likable you appear to others.
Psychologically, nodding is associated with agreement and understanding.
When you nod while someone is speaking, you’re silently communicating that you’re following along, that you comprehend what they’re saying, and that you agree.
Dr. Albert Mehrabian’s research on non-verbal communication emphasizes how much of our message is conveyed through body language.
Nodding, as a non-verbal cue, plays a key role in showing agreement and attentiveness, which can make a speaker feel more understood and appreciated.
So next time you’re engaged in a conversation, try subtly nodding in agreement.
It’s a small thing that can make a huge difference in your likability factor!
5) Limited touch
Studies show that a limited and appropriate touch can actually make us more likable.
A pat on the back, a quick touch on the arm, or a friendly handshake can create a sense of warmth and affection.
Of course, it goes without saying that any touch should be respectful and context-appropriate.
In fact, research published in the International Journal of Hospitality Management found that waitresses who lightly touched customers on the hand or shoulder received significantly larger tips, demonstrating the powerful effect of non-verbal communication in social interactions.
This is a delicate balance. Inappropriate or excessive touch can have the exact opposite effect.
So tread lightly and respect personal boundaries.
6) Smiling
Smiling is one of the most underrated body language tricks that can instantly make you more likable.
It’s simple, it’s free, and it has a powerful impact on the people around you.
A genuine smile can convey friendliness, warmth, and positivity. It’s contagious and naturally draws people towards you.
Next time you’re meeting new people or even catching up with old friends, flash them a genuine smile.
It can go a long way in making you more likable.
7) Authenticity
Here’s an interesting fact – I’ve often been complimented on my authenticity in social situations.
You see, people can sense when you’re being genuine, and they’re naturally drawn to it.
Authenticity is all about being true to yourself and others.
It means not putting on a facade or trying to be someone you’re not.
It’s about showing up as you are, with your strengths and your flaws, and being okay with it.
When you’re authentic, people feel safe around you. They feel seen and understood.
And that’s an incredibly powerful thing.
8) Leaning in
Another little-known body language trick that can make you more likable is leaning in.
This shows the person you’re talking to that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say.
When you lean in during a conversation, it signals engagement and attentiveness.
It shows that you care about their words and thoughts.
But, like all body language cues, it’s crucial to use this one appropriately.
Always maintain a respectful distance while subtly leaning in to show your interest; this helps avoid invading anyone’s personal space.
Final thoughts: It’s all about connection
Our body language is a powerful tool in the art of being likable.
It speaks volumes about who we are, often before we even say a word.
And while these nine little-known body language tricks can definitely help, it’s important to remember that at the end of the day, it’s all about connection.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve further into the importance of genuine connection and how it can transform our lives.
These aren’t just tips and tricks to be applied mechanically.
They should come from a place of genuine desire to connect with others, to understand them better, and to build meaningful relationships.