If you want your partner to always feel comfortable and safe with you, say goodbye to these 7 habits

Fostering a sense of safety and comfort is crucial in any relationship.

It’s the foundation of trust, intimacy, and genuine connection. But sometimes, without even realizing it, we engage in certain behaviors that can chip away at that comfort and safety.

If you’re wondering how to make your partner always feel secure and comfortable with you, it might be time to take a closer look at your own habits.

The key lies not just in what you should do, but also in what you shouldn’t.

Here are seven habits you might want to say goodbye to if you’re aiming for a strong, healthy relationship with your partner.

1) Saying goodbye to criticism

We all make mistakes.

Yes, even you.

And while it’s important to address these mistakes, there’s a fine line between constructive feedback and outright criticism.

You see, criticism can make your partner feel attacked or inadequate, which is the exact opposite of feeling safe and comfortable.

Instead, try to approach the situation from a place of understanding and support. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements, to avoid making your partner feel like they’re being blamed.

For example, instead of saying “You never help with the dishes,” you could say “I feel overwhelmed when I have to do all the dishes by myself.”

It’s a small change, but it can make a world of difference. After all, the goal here isn’t to win an argument. It’s to build a relationship where both of you feel safe, loved, and understood.

2) Ditching the silent treatment

Oh, the silent treatment.

We’ve all been guilty of it at one point or another. I know I have.

A few years back, I would resort to silence whenever my partner and I had a disagreement. I thought I was doing us both a favor by avoiding an argument, but in reality, I was creating a wedge between us.

Silence can be deafening. It can make your partner feel isolated, confused and insecure.

Instead of shutting down, try to keep the lines of communication open. If you need time to cool off, that’s perfectly fine – but let your partner know.

I started saying something like “I need some time to process my thoughts, but we’ll talk about this later.”

This simple statement made a huge difference in our relationship. It created a sense of safety because my partner knew that I was not shutting them out; I was just taking some time for myself.

3) Letting go of jealousy

Ah, jealousy. It creeps up on us like a shadow in the night, often when we’re least expecting it.

I’ve been there, too.

There was a time when I let jealousy rule me. I’d see my partner laughing with someone else and my mind would start spinning out stories of betrayal and heartbreak.

But over time, I’ve come to understand that jealousy is not about my partner; it’s about me. It’s about my own insecurities and fears.

Here’s the truth: Trust is integral to any relationship. Without it, you’re building on shaky ground.

So if you’re battling the green-eyed monster, take a breath. Look inward. Ask yourself why you’re feeling this way.

Is it because of something your partner did? Or is it because of your own fears and insecurities?

If it’s the latter, work on building your self-confidence.

And if it’s the former, communicate with your partner. Let them know how you’re feeling. Ultimately, they’re not a mind reader.

4) Resisting the need to always be right

We all love to be right.

There’s a certain satisfaction that comes from winning an argument or proving a point. But when it’s at the expense of your partner’s feelings, it’s worth reconsidering.

In my younger years, I was quite stubborn. I’d argue my point to the bitter end, refusing to back down even when I could see my partner’s distress.

Over time, I’ve learned that being kind is more important than being right.

Sometimes, it’s about listening to your partner’s viewpoint, even if you disagree. It’s about respecting their feelings and acknowledging their perspective.

5) Breaking free from an all-take, no-give mentality

Relationships are a two-way street.

They involve give and take, compromise and cooperation. Yet, it’s easy to lose sight of this balance amidst the hustle and bustle of life.

Did you know that according to psychologists, one of the key indicators of a healthy relationship is the balance of contribution? That’s right. It’s not just about what you receive, but also what you give.

I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum – I’ve taken too much without giving back, and I’ve given too much without receiving. Neither felt right.

If you find yourself always on the receiving end, it might be time to reassess your actions. Are you supporting your partner as much as they are supporting you? Are you contributing to the relationship in equal measure?

And if you find yourself always on the giving end, don’t forget to allow your partner to reciprocate. Accepting help and support is just as important as offering it.

6) Letting go of unrealistic expectations

In the world of social media and romantic movies, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of idealized love stories.

We start to believe that our relationships should look a certain way, that our partners should always understand us, that conflicts should be resolved before the sun sets.

But here’s the reality: each relationship is unique, and so is each person.

Your partner is human. They have their own strengths and weaknesses, just like you do. They will make mistakes, just like you do.

Expecting them to be perfect or to live up to an idealized standard isn’t just unfair, it’s unrealistic.

Instead, try to accept your partner for who they are. Celebrate their strengths, support them through their weaknesses, and remember that they’re trying their best, just like you are.

Because at the end of the day, true love is not about finding a perfect person. It’s about seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

7) Saying no to constant comparisons

Comparison is the thief of joy.

When we begin to compare our partners to others – be it a colleague, an ex, or even a fictional character – we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.

Your partner is not anyone else. They are their own unique individual with their own set of skills, passions, and quirks.

Cherishing them for who they are, rather than who they are not, is the cornerstone of a healthy and comfortable relationship.

So instead of comparing, start appreciating.

The grass is greener where you water it. Water your own grass and watch your relationship bloom.