If you want to start attracting high-quality people into your life, say goodbye to these 8 habits

I’ve been there, right at that spot where you feel like you’re always meeting the wrong kind of people.

It feels like a constant uphill battle, like you’re trying to solve a puzzle with all the wrong pieces.

I’ve done my share of soul-searching, tried to figure out what was going wrong.

It wasn’t about blaming others or playing the victim, it was about understanding what I could do differently.

And then it hit me.

Sometimes, it isn’t about the people we meet, it’s about us.

It’s about the habits we’ve formed over time that are holding us back, keeping us stuck in a loop of low-quality relationships and interactions.

Believe me, it took some serious self-reflection to realize this. But the more I thought about it, the clearer it became.

If I wanted to attract high-quality people into my life, I had to say goodbye to some of these habits.

In this article,  I’ll be sharing 8 habits that I had to kick to the curb in order to start attracting the right kind of people into my life.

And trust me, it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

1) Ditch the habit of settling for less than you deserve

Attraction, you see, works on multiple levels – intellectual, emotional, and physical.

It’s like this invisible force that pulls you towards certain individuals.

But here’s the catch, it’s not just about what others bring to the table, it’s also about what you do.

I used to settle a lot. I’d convince myself that it was okay to accept less than what I deserved, that it was enough.

But deep down, I knew it wasn’t. That’s when I understood one of the most vital lessons – if you don’t value yourself, how can you expect others to?

It was a tough pill to swallow.

Getting rid of this habit of settling for less wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.

If you’re always willing to accept less, you’ll never attract high-quality people into your life.

You’ll just keep attracting more of the same – people who don’t truly value or respect you.

So, my first piece of advice?

Stop settling. Value yourself and your worth.

The moment you start doing that, you’ll notice a shift in the kind of people you attract.

High-quality people are drawn to those who know their worth and aren’t afraid to demand it.

2) Say goodbye to your fear of rejection

Now, this is a big one. Fear of rejection.

It’s something that held me back for a long time. I was so scared of being rejected that I would avoid putting myself out there.

I’d play it safe, stay in my comfort zone, and as a result, I’d end up attracting people who were just as afraid to take risks or be vulnerable.

Then one day, after yet another disappointing encounter, I decided to face my fear head-on.

I remember this one time when I was at a networking event.

There was this person who seemed incredibly interesting, someone I could learn from, possibly even become friends with.

But the fear of rejection was too strong. What if they think I’m not good enough? What if they’re not interested?

But then I remembered my decision to confront this fear. So, I took a deep breath and introduced myself. And guess what? They were just as eager to connect as I was.

That’s when it clicked – every rejection is not a verdict about my worth but an opportunity to learn and grow.

Once I adopted this mindset, my interactions with people changed dramatically.

I started attracting individuals who were not only high-quality but also shared my zest for life and learning.

3) Kick the habit of not setting boundaries

There’s a quote by the renowned author, Dr. Brene Brown, that really resonates with me.

She once said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

For a long time, I struggled with setting boundaries. I wanted to be liked, to be accepted.

So, I would often compromise on my own needs and wants.

But then I read Dr. Brown’s quote and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Setting boundaries isn’t about being selfish or unreasonable.

It’s about respecting yourself and ensuring others do the same.

It’s about creating a space where you’re able to thrive and grow.

So, I started setting boundaries. I started saying no when something didn’t align with my values or goals. And yes, it was uncomfortable at first.

But it also led to a transformation in the quality of people I attracted into my life.

High-quality people respect boundaries.

They appreciate honesty and assertiveness.

So, if you want to start attracting these kinds of people into your life, it’s time to say goodbye to the habit of not setting boundaries.

It won’t be easy, but as Dr. Brown said, it’s about having the courage to love ourselves.

4) Let go of the negativity in your life

Negativity, it’s like a magnet. The more you indulge in it, the more it attracts similar energy into your life.

There’s actually a psychological phenomenon called the “Law of Attraction“, which suggests that the energy you put out into the universe is what you attract back.

I’ve been there, stuck in a whirlpool of negative thoughts and emotions.

It affected not just my mood but also the people I attracted into my life.

Then I started consciously working on shifting my mindset.

Instead of dwelling on the negatives, I focused on the positives, on gratitude. And it was like flipping a switch.

Suddenly, I was meeting people who were positive, driven and inspiring.

People who encouraged me to grow and strive for better.

5) Step away from the habit of constant comparison

In this era of social media, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves with others.

We see someone’s highlight reel and start feeling inadequate about our own life.

I’ve been down that road and let me tell you, it’s a dead end.

Constant comparison was a habit that had me second-guessing my worth, my achievements.

It painted a picture of a life I should be living and created a barrier between me and genuine, high-quality connections.

But then, I decided to take a step back. To turn my focus inward, on my journey, my growth.

The day I stopped comparing myself to others was the day I started attracting high-quality people into my life.

People who were not just successful or popular, but real and authentic.

People who valued me for who I was, not for what I had or what I could offer.

6) Eliminate the habit of overthinking

Overthinking, it’s like a hamster wheel. The more you feed it, the faster it spins.

I used to be a chronic overthinker.

I’d analyze every scenario, every interaction, until it lost all its meaning. It was exhausting and it did more harm than good.

Overthinking kept me stuck in a loop of doubt and uncertainty.

It made me second guess myself and my decisions, which in turn attracted people who did the same.

But then, I decided to take a leap of faith. To trust my gut, my instincts.

The moment I stopped overthinking was the moment I started attracting high-quality people into my life.

People who were confident, decisive and who inspired me to be the same.

7) Give up the habit of being a people-pleaser

Being a people-pleaser was a role I played for far too long.

Always saying yes, always going the extra mile, even when it felt like I was losing myself in the process.

I thought it would make me more likable, more attractive to others.

But all it did was attract people who took advantage of my kindness and willingness to go above and beyond.

Then one day, I decided enough was enough.

I started prioritizing my needs, my happiness.

I started saying no when something didn’t serve me, and yes to things that truly mattered to me.

And that’s when my life began to change.

I started attracting high-quality individuals who respected my choices and valued my individuality.

People who understood that pleasing everyone was an impossible task and admired me for standing up for myself.

8) Break free from the habit of not believing in yourself

The most impactful change I made, the one that truly transformed my life, was choosing to believe in myself.

For years, I’d been doubting my capabilities, undermining my worth.

It was a toxic habit that kept me from reaching my true potential and from attracting high-quality people into my life.

Then, I made a conscious choice. A choice to trust in my abilities, to embrace my strengths and work on my weaknesses.

And let me tell you, it wasn’t easy.

There were moments of self-doubt, moments when I wanted to slip back into old patterns. But I pushed through.

The moment I started believing in myself was the moment everything changed.

Feeling stuck in self-doubt?

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Picture of Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang

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