If you to start feeling more cheerful and optimistic about life, say goodbye to these 5 behaviors

Do you ever feel weighed down by negativity or find it hard to stay upbeat about life?

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, certain habits can quietly drain our joy and optimism. The good news is that by identifying and letting go of these behaviors, we can make room for a brighter, more positive outlook.

Today, we’ll look at five common behaviors that can hold you back from feeling truly positive and explore why saying goodbye to them can help you embrace a lighter, more joyful life.

Ready to clear out what’s bringing you down? Let’s dive in!

1) Dwelling on the past

Let’s kick things off with a big one.

Dwelling on the past can be one of the most powerful ways to drain our energy and keep us from feeling truly positive.

I’ve experienced this firsthand; there was a time when I found myself replaying old mistakes and regrets over and over, hoping to somehow change what had already happened. But all it did was keep me stuck, filling me with frustration and disappointment that overshadowed any chance of feeling optimistic.

As the Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius put it, “Each of us lives only in the present, this brief moment; the rest is either a life that is past or is an uncertain future.”

When we release our grip on the past, we open ourselves up to joy, growth, and a more positive outlook—right here, in the moment we’re actually living in.

2) Constant comparison

Thanks to social media, it’s easier than ever to compare our lives to the highlight reels of others.

But here’s the thing: comparison often leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

You see, when we compare ourselves to others, we’re often comparing our behind-the-scenes with their highlight reel. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and can significantly dampen our spirits.

Instead, as advised by psychologists like Jordan Peterson, “Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today”.

Try focusing on your own personal growth and self-improvement. Set your own goals and measure your progress based on your own standards, not someone else’s.

3) Seeking constant happiness

Now, this might sound counter-intuitive, but hear me out.

While it is understandable to want to be happy all the time, this pursuit can actually make us less happy. Why? Because life is a mix of emotions and experiences – both good and bad.

When we chase constant happiness, we set ourselves up for disappointment, because it’s simply not possible to be happy all the time. This constant chase can lead to feelings of inadequacy when we inevitably experience negative emotions.

I used to fall into this trap. I used to believe that I had to stay positive no matter what to feel truly happy, so I’d push away any “negative” feelings whenever they came up.

But I soon realized that suppressing sadness or frustration only made things worse, leaving me feeling disconnected and even more down when those emotions inevitably surfaced.

However, over time I learned to strive for emotional balance. By allowing myself to feel whatever emotions came up—whether stress, sadness, or even anger—I started to feel more balanced, more genuine, and ironically, happier overall.

The point is that when we accept the full range of human emotions, we stop setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves and start living more authentically – leading to a more optimistic outlook on life.

4) Overthinking

Overthinking is a common trap many of us fall into. We replay conversations in our heads, second-guess our decisions, and worry about the future.

This constant mental chatter can be exhausting and leave us feeling stressed and anxious. What’s more, it often hinders us from taking action and making progress in our lives.

Psychology suggests that a great way to combat overthinking is mindfulness – the practice of focusing on the present moment without judgment. As noted by the folks at the American Psychological Association, the benefits include reduced rumination, less stress, more focus, and even more relationship satisfaction!

I can attest to these benefits firsthand. A while back, I was caught in a cycle of constant overthinking, especially around big decisions for my business and personal life.

I’d analyze every scenario, play out every possible outcome in my mind, and often end up feeling paralyzed by all the “what ifs.” It left me exhausted and, ironically, no closer to the clarity I was hoping for.

That’s when I decided to try mindfulness. I started with just a few minutes each morning, focusing on my breathing and letting go of the need to control every thought. Over time, I noticed a real shift—I felt calmer, less overwhelmed, and more present in the decisions I made.

Trust me, if you find yourself stuck in a cycle of overthinking, try incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine. Even just a few minutes each day can make a big difference.

5) Neglecting self-care

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to neglect self-care. We often prioritize work, responsibilities, and others over our own well-being.

However, as noted by experts, this can lead to feeling hopeless, burnout, a lack of patience, and even worsening anxiety.

But what is self-care?

Well, it isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days. It’s about taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health. It’s about setting boundaries, saying no when needed, and taking time to rest and recharge.

and pessimistic? It might be time to start prioritizing you. Make sure to eat well, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and take time each day to do something you enjoy.

Final thoughts: It’s all about choice

Letting go of these habits isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Each one of them can subtly drain our joy and optimism, keeping us from living a life that feels lighter and more fulfilling.

By saying goodbye to dwelling on the past, constant comparison, the chase for perpetual happiness, overthinking, and neglecting self-care, we open up space for healthier, more positive patterns to take root.

Remember though, it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress.

So, as you move forward, take it one habit at a time. Each small change can bring a sense of peace and optimism that grows over time—helping you live a life that truly feels lighter, brighter, and more joyful.