If you recognize these 7 signs, your marriage is worth fighting for (according to a relationship expert)

It’s no secret that marriage isn’t always easy.

Every relationship goes through its ups and downs, and during tough times, it’s natural to question whether it’s worth holding on.

But here’s the thing: a rough patch doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed.

Sometimes, the signs that your relationship is still strong are just waiting to be noticed.

So, how do you know if your marriage is worth fighting for?

Let’s explore what makes a marriage worth the effort, even when things feel challenging.

If you recognize these seven signs in your marriage, it’s a clear indication that there’s something worth fighting for.

1) You still share common goals

One of the clearest signs that your marriage is worth fighting for is if you and your partner still share common goals.

Whether it’s building a stable future, raising a happy family, or pursuing dreams together, having aligned aspirations is a strong foundation for any relationship.

These shared goals remind you that, at your core, you’re still a team working toward the same destination.

Even if life’s challenges have caused some distance, common goals can act as a compass to help you both find your way back to each other.

Maybe you’ve been focusing on different paths recently, but if your ultimate vision for the future still overlaps, it’s a powerful reason to keep working on your connection.

Remember, it’s normal for goals to shift or evolve over time, but the key is maintaining open communication about them.

When you and your partner can revisit those shared dreams and reignite the teamwork that brought you together in the first place, it’s a sign your marriage has the potential to not only survive but thrive.

2) You can still laugh together

In my experience as a relationship expert, I have come to realize the immense power of humor in a relationship.

You see, the ability to laugh together is like a secret language between two people.

It eases tension, diffuses conflict and strengthens your bond.

And most importantly, it reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place.

In fact, studies show that older couples who’ve been married at least 35 years rely more heavily on humor to sustain their relationship.

So next time you find yourselves laughing together, remember this isn’t just about having fun.

It’s about shared joy, shared memories, and a shared bond – all signs that your marriage is worth fighting for.

3) You still argue

Contrary to what many might believe, arguing is not necessarily a bad sign in a marriage.

In fact, it can actually be a sign that your marriage is worth fighting for.

You see, arguments mean you both still care enough to express your feelings and defend your points of view.

It means you’re passionate about the relationship and you’re willing to fight for what you believe in.

Of course, how you fight matters.

If your arguments are respectful and lead to resolutions rather than escalating into personal attacks, that’s a good sign.

It shows that you’re both committed to solving issues rather than just winning the argument.

So next time you find yourself in a heated discussion with your spouse, remember this: If you’re fighting fair and with respect, it’s not a sign of failure but a testament to the strength of your bond.

4) You cherish each other’s individuality

Another clear sign your marriage is worth fighting for is if you and your partner celebrate each other for who you are—quirks, passions, and all.

Sure, marriage can feel challenging sometimes, especially when life throws curveballs.

But if you still respect and cherish each other’s individuality, that’s a strong foundation to build on.

This is the complete opposite of codependency, where one person’s identity becomes wrapped up in the other.

When you and your partner can maintain your own lives while fully supporting each other’s growth, it shows that your relationship is based on respect, not control.

You don’t just exist as a “we”; you’re two strong “me’s” who complement each other.

And honestly, isn’t it more fun to hear about their pottery class mishaps or wild karaoke night than to do everything together?

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into how couples can break the chains of codependency and foster a relationship based on mutual growth.

When the challenges of marriage arise—and they will—knowing you have a partner who loves you for who you are, not just who you are to them, is priceless.

It means you’ve built a relationship rooted in mutual trust and independence, which is a clear sign it’s worth holding onto.

5) There’s still pain when you imagine a future without them

Let’s get real here. Sometimes love hurts, and sometimes the very thought of losing your partner can bring up deep pain and fear.

And that’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay – it’s a sign that your marriage is worth fighting for.

If the idea of a future without your partner still brings a lump to your throat and an ache in your chest, it means there are still strong emotional ties binding you two together.

It means that despite the struggles, you’re still emotionally invested in the relationship.

However, remember that this pain should not come from a place of fear or dependency, but rather from a place of genuine love and desire to share your life with them.

Yes, acknowledging this pain can be tough. But it’s also honest and real.

And in the gritty reality of love and marriage, sometimes it’s these raw emotions that remind us what’s truly worth fighting for.

6) You’ve survived tough times together

Every relationship has its fair share of storms. But you probably already know this — it’s not the storm that defines your marriage, it’s what you do when the storm passes.

In the words of Friedrich Nietzsche, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”

If you’ve faced adversity together and are still standing, it’s a testament to the strength of your bond.

It shows resilience, teamwork, and a deep-seated commitment to stick together no matter what.

So next time you look back at the challenges you’ve overcome together, don’t just see them as painful memories.

See them as proof that your marriage can endure, can grow, and is indeed worth fighting for.

7) You still choose each other, every day

Lastly, let’s get right down to the gist of it — marriage is a choice.

Not just the big, dramatic “I do” kind of choice, but the quiet, everyday decision to show up for each other.

It’s not about always agreeing or feeling madly in love every second of the day.

It’s about making the conscious effort to care, to communicate, and to work through the messy stuff together.

Choosing each other means being in it for the long haul, even when it would be easier to give up or let resentment take over.

At the end of the day, marriage is built on these little choices.

It’s the way you check in after a long day, forgive each other after a fight, or make time to laugh together, no matter how busy life gets.

It’s this very choice, made in the face of challenges, that gives true meaning to the vow “for better or worse”.

So if you’re still making the choice to love and support each other, then there’s no denying that your marriage is absolutely worth holding onto.

Conclusion

Marriage isn’t always easy, but the signs that it’s worth fighting for are often right in front of you.

Shared goals, mutual respect, and the daily choice to support each other are just a few of the ways a strong foundation shows itself, even during challenging times.

If you recognize these signs in your relationship, take heart—your marriage has what it takes to not only survive but thrive.

It’s never about being perfect; it’s about showing up, growing together, and continuing to choose each other, one day at a time.

For more insights on building a healthy and fulfilling relationship, I invite you to check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

It’s packed with practical advice and strategies to help you navigate the complexities of love and partnership.

So here’s to fighting the good fight – for love, for connection, and for a marriage that’s worth every effort.