Life is a lot about the company you keep. Sometimes, it’s tough to tell if the folks around you are helping you grow or pulling you down.
Recognizing the signs that you’re surrounded by the wrong crowd is a vital step towards taking control of your life and steering it in a more positive direction.
I’m here to help you identify these red flags. If any of these seven signs ring true, it might be time for you to rethink your social circle.
1) Constant negativity
A key indicator that you may need to change your company is a pervasive feeling of negativity.
When you’re around people who are constantly negative, it can be draining. You might notice that every conversation seems to revolve around problems, complaints, or gossip. You leave interactions feeling drained, rather than uplifted.
This isn’t just about occasional venting or having a bad day – we all have those. This is about a consistent pattern of negativity that brings you down.
Studies show that negativity can be contagious. So if you’re constantly surrounded by it, it can start to affect your own mood and outlook on life.
If this sounds familiar, it might be time to consider whether these people are the right ones for you to spend your time with. You deserve to be around people who lift you up, not bring you down.
2) Lack of support
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s the importance of having a supportive network. But what happens when that network isn’t so supportive?
Here’s a personal example. I once had a friend whom I considered quite close.
When I landed my dream job and excitedly shared the news, instead of being happy for me, they immediately dove into how this job might interfere with my personal life, and how I might not be cut out for it.
This was a pattern. They always found a way to rain on my parade, no matter what the circumstance. It was as if they took pleasure in dismissing or downplaying my achievements.
That’s when I realized that this person was not supportive, but rather, discouraging. And that’s not the kind of energy I needed around me.
So, if your victories are met with indifference or worse, criticism instead of celebration, it could be a sign you need to surround yourself with better people. People who genuinely want the best for you and celebrate your successes with you.
3) No personal growth
Surrounding yourself with people who encourage your growth is crucial. On the contrary, if you’re with people who don’t inspire you to improve, it might be time for a change.
According to psychology, humans are highly influenced by their environment and the people they interact with. Spending time with people who are constantly learning and growing can rub off on you, pushing you to do the same.
However, if you’re around people who are stagnant, never evolving or challenging themselves, it’s likely that you may find yourself stuck in the same rut.
It’s essential to have people in your life who help you grow as an individual, broaden your perspective and motivate you to reach your full potential. If that’s missing, it’s a clear sign you need better company.
4) You feel judged
A feeling of constantly being judged or criticized can be a significant sign that you’re surrounded by the wrong people.
Good friends and supportive companions should make you feel comfortable in your own skin, allowing you to express yourself freely without fear of judgement.
However, if you find yourself censoring your thoughts, actions, or feelings around certain individuals because you’re afraid of their criticism or disapproval, it’s a clear indication that these people are not fostering a positive environment for you.
Look, the right people will appreciate you for who you are, flaws and all, and not make you feel lesser for them. It’s important to surround yourself with those who make you feel good about being yourself.
5) They don’t value your time
Time is a precious resource. How people treat your time can say a lot about how they value you as a person.
Once, I was always the one adjusting my schedule to meet up with a certain group of friends. I’d rush from work, skip meals, or rearrange my commitments just to accommodate their plans. But it never seemed like they would do the same for me.
It was always a one-way street. If I couldn’t make it at their specified time, they would go ahead without me. It took me a while to realize that this was not fair or respectful.
If you’re constantly bending over backwards to fit into other people’s schedules while they won’t do the same for you, it could be a sign that you’re not being valued in your relationships.
Surround yourself with those who respect your time and are willing to meet you halfway.
6) You can’t trust them
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you find yourself constantly doubting the intentions of those around you, it’s a major red flag.
Maybe they’ve betrayed your trust in the past, or they’re always elusive and never straightforward. If you can’t rely on their word or feel uneasy sharing personal details with them, it might be because deep down, you don’t trust them.
Without trust, there’s always going to be a level of discomfort and tension. You deserve to be around people who you can confide in without fear of betrayal or judgment.
7) You’re not happy
At the end of the day, your happiness is what truly matters. If you find yourself consistently unhappy or unsatisfied when you’re around certain people, it’s a sign that something needs to change.
Whether it’s because of their negative energy, lack of support, or any other reason, being around them should not rob you of your joy.
Remember, you have the right to choose who you allow into your life. Choose those who bring positivity, growth, and happiness.
Final thoughts: The power of choice
Your social environment plays a significant role in shaping your life. It can impact your mood, your outlook, and even your personal growth.
The psychologist Jim Rohn famously said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This emphasizes the profound impact those around us can have on our lives.
However, the power to choose our surroundings lies within us. It might not be easy to let go of certain relationships, but remember, your happiness and well-being should always take precedence.
Reflect on this as you navigate through your relationships. Choose wisely, choose better.
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