There’s a thin line between confidence and narcissism.
Spotting a narcissist isn’t always easy, they’re skilled at hiding their true colors. But if you know what to look for, you can save yourself a world of trouble.
Narcissists, especially those who are out-of-touch, exhibit certain behaviors that set them apart. These behaviors can be subtle, but once you recognize them, the picture becomes clear.
In this article, we’ll explore eight tell-tale behaviors of an out-of-touch narcissist.
This information could be the key to understanding that difficult person in your life. So, let’s dive in.
1) Self-absorbed to the extreme
Narcissism isn’t about having a healthy level of self-esteem, it’s about being absorbed in yourself to the point of disregarding others.
The out-of-touch narcissists live in their own little world, where they are the sun and everyone else is merely a planet revolving around them.
They can’t imagine that anything could be more important than their thoughts, feelings, and desires.
This self-absorption is not subtle. They’ll dominate conversations, turning every topic back to themselves.
They’ll disregard your feelings, experiences, or ideas because they don’t align with their own.
Recognizing this behavior can be your first clue that you’re dealing with an out-of-touch narcissist.
But remember, it’s not about having a bad day or being self-centered at times – we all have those moments. It’s about an ongoing pattern of disregard for others in favor of oneself.
Whenever you notice someone who seems to live in their own universe, where they’re the star and everyone else is just a supporting character, you might be dealing with an out-of-touch narcissist.
2) Lack of empathy
Another characteristic sign of an out-of-touch narcissist is a lack of empathy. They struggle to understand or share the feelings of others, which further isolates them in their self-centered world.
Let me share a personal example. A few years ago, I had a friend who always seemed to be on her own wavelength.
Whenever I shared my own struggles or successes, she would quickly steer the conversation back to herself, without acknowledging my feelings or experiences.
One time, I was going through a rough patch, dealing with the loss of a loved one.
I tried to share my grief with her, but instead of offering comfort or understanding, she quickly changed the topic to her recent promotion at work.
It was as if my pain was an inconvenience that interrupted her self-centered narrative.
This consistent lack of empathy eventually led me to realize that I was dealing with an out-of-touch narcissist.
It wasn’t just that she didn’t understand my feelings – she didn’t seem to care about them at all. And that’s a key sign you’re dealing with someone who is truly narcissistic.
3) Grandiose sense of self-importance
Out-of-touch narcissists have an inflated view of their own importance. They believe they’re special, unique and superior to others – even when there’s no objective reason to think so.
Their grandiosity isn’t just about having a big ego. It’s deeply ingrained in their psyche and affects how they view the world.
They believe they are deserving of special treatment, and they expect others to recognize their supposed superiority.
This grandiose sense of self-importance can be traced back to ancient Greece.
The term “narcissism” comes from the Greek myth of Narcissus, a handsome young man who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water.
Unable to pull himself away, he eventually wasted away and died, consumed by his self-obsession.
So, if you notice someone who perpetually views themselves as superior and expects special treatment – despite lack of concrete achievements or recognition from peers – you might be interacting with an out-of-touch narcissist.
4) Obsession with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
An out-of-touch narcissist often lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur.
They imagine themselves achieving incredible success, having immense power, displaying unparalleled brilliance, possessing breathtaking beauty, or experiencing the epitome of ideal love.
These aren’t just occasional daydreams that we all indulge in from time to time.
They are persistent fantasies that preoccupy their thoughts and drive their actions. Such fantasies serve to inflate their already bloated self-image and shield them from the realities that might challenge it.
The problem is, life isn’t a fairy tale.
When reality fails to match up with their fantasy world, instead of adjusting their expectations, an out-of-touch narcissist tends to blame others for not living up to their unrealistic standards.
5) Exploitative in relationships
An out-of-touch narcissist sees relationships differently from most people. While many of us value connection, companionship, and mutual respect, narcissists view relationships as a means to an end.
They often exploit others to achieve their own goals, without any regard for the other person’s feelings or needs.
They use people as tools to build their own self-esteem, often at the expense of those around them.
It’s heartbreaking to realize that a relationship you thought was genuine was actually one-sided. That the person you cared for was simply using you for their own gain.
It’s even more painful when that person shows no remorse or understanding of the damage they’ve caused.
This exploitative behavior is a key indicator of an out-of-touch narcissist.
If you feel constantly used and disregarded in a relationship, it might be time to reassess whether you’re dealing with a true narcissist.
6) Constant need for admiration
One behavior that strikes me about out-of-touch narcissists is their constant need for admiration.
They thrive on compliments, praise, and positive attention, often going to great lengths to obtain it.
I’ve seen this firsthand with a former colleague. He was always seeking validation, whether it was for his work performance, his physical appearance, or even his choices in music.
It didn’t matter how small or inconsequential the topic was, he needed to be praised.
At first, I thought he was just insecure and needed a confidence boost.
But over time, I realized it was more than that. His need for admiration was insatiable. No amount of praise was ever enough. It was like trying to fill a bottomless pit.
This constant need for admiration is another sign of an out-of-touch narcissist.
If you know someone who can’t seem to get enough praise and constantly fishes for compliments, they might be a narcissist.
7) Envious of others or believes others are envious of them
Out-of-touch narcissists often struggle with envy. They either feel envious of others’ successes, or they believe others are envious of them.
This stems from their need to be superior and their inability to celebrate others’ accomplishments.
A narcissist might downplay your achievements, or they might try to make them about themselves.
They find it difficult to genuinely congratulate you because they perceive your success as a threat to their own superiority.
On the flip side, they might also believe that others are green with envy over their success, even when there’s no evidence to support this belief.
This sense of imagined envy serves to feed their grandiose self-perception.
When you see someone who can’t seem to be happy for others, or who constantly believes others are jealous of them without any real proof, it’s quite possible that you’re dealing with an out-of-touch narcissist.
8) Arrogant and haughty behavior
The most critical thing to remember about out-of-touch narcissists is their arrogance. They display a haughty, dismissive attitude towards others, treating them as inferior.
Their superiority complex is evident in their actions and words.
This arrogance isn’t just unpleasant, it’s damaging. It can belittle and demean those around them, causing emotional harm and fostering a toxic environment.
It’s not just about a clash of personalities; it’s about a deep-seated disregard for others’ worth.
If you encounter someone who consistently displays arrogant behavior, dismissing others’ thoughts and feelings as unimportant, it’s a significant red flag.
This might well be an out-of-touch narcissist you’re dealing with.
Final thoughts: It’s about understanding, not demonizing
The complexities of human behavior and psychology are deeply intertwined with our personal experiences, upbringing, and even our genetic makeup.
Narcissism isn’t a choice. It’s a personality disorder, often rooted in a combination of genetic and environmental factors.
It’s critical to remember that while we may struggle with their behavior, individuals with narcissistic tendencies often struggle too.
Understanding these behaviors isn’t about labeling or stigmatizing individuals. Instead, it’s about equipping ourselves with the knowledge to recognize unhealthy patterns and protect our own emotional wellbeing.
After all, we can’t change other people, but we can choose how we react to them.
Recognizing the signs of an out-of-touch narcissist allows us to navigate relationships more effectively and make informed decisions about the people we allow into our lives.
As Socrates once said, “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” This wisdom holds true in dealing with narcissistic individuals as well.
It’s about understanding, setting boundaries, and focusing on building healthier relationships moving forward.
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