So, you want to take control of your life?
I’ve been there and I can tell you there’s good news and bad news.
The good news is that it’s not about making lofty goals or drastic life changes.
The bad news? It will require effort.
More specifically, it will almost certainly require letting go of some deeply ingrained habits that might be holding you back. What habits, you ask?
Well, that’s exactly what we’re diving into today.
Let’s explore the behaviors you need to leave behind to step into the driver’s seat of your own life.
1) Giving in to instant gratification
When I was researching a previous post not so long ago, I came across an interesting piece of research that I think fits perfectly here, so I’m going to include it.
Here’s the takeaway: “Most people who have impulsively bought items seen on social media have regrets. 48% of social media users say they have made an impulse purchase of a product they saw on social media, and 68% of those people say they regretted at least one of the purchases.”
Why am I telling you this?
Because it highlights just how controlled many of us are by instant gratification.
We see something, we want it, we buy it—without stopping to think about whether it aligns with our long-term goals or values.
Now, here’s the problem: when we consistently give in to instant gratification, we’re not really in control of our lives.
We’re letting fleeting impulses dictate our decisions instead of our deeper priorities.
Whether it’s impulse shopping, binge-watching TV instead of working on that project, or skipping a workout for a quick nap, these behaviors keep us stuck in a cycle of short-term satisfaction at the expense of long-term growth.
If you truly want to take control of your life, learning to delay gratification is key.
It’s about saying no to what feels good in the moment so you can say yes to what matters most in the future.
2) Letting the fear of change dictate your decisions
Let’s talk about the fear of change.
This is another behavior I’ve noticed that tends to keep us from taking control of our lives.
It’s a tricky one, because change can be scary. But it’s also inevitable and often necessary for growth.
I remember when I first decided to start Hack Spirit.
I was stepping into unknown territory and trust me, it was daunting.
There were countless times I questioned my decision and wondered if I was making a huge mistake.
But you know what? Facing that fear and embracing the change ended up being one of the best decisions I ever made.
It led me to a path of self-discovery, growth and ultimately, more control over my life.
Change is often the door to opportunities we never even knew existed.
Don’t let the fear of it keep you from opening that door.
3) Trying to keep everyone happy
How often do you find yourself bending over backward to accommodate others, even at the expense of your own needs or desires?
Let’s be fair—we all do it sometimes. We want to keep the peace, avoid conflict, and make sure the people we care about are happy.
But when this behavior goes too far, we end up living a life that’s not our own.
We become controlled by a desire to seek external validation or avoid disappointing others.
And here’s the kicker: it doesn’t even work.
As the poet John Lydgate famously wrote (later paraphrased by Abraham Lincoln), “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”
No matter how hard you try, you’re never going to make everyone happy. Someone, somewhere, will always have something to criticize.
The solution?
As harsh as it may sound, focus on pleasing yourself.
Start prioritizing your own values, goals, and happiness.
Those who are truly meant to be in your life will accept and respect you for who you are—not for how much you try to accommodate them.
When you let go of the need to please everyone, you reclaim control over your choices and your life.
4) Holding onto past regrets
We all have a past, but living in it can truly hold us back.
When we allow past regrets to take up too much space in our minds, they can consume us and stop us from moving forward.
This isn’t just a platitude—it’s backed by experts.
As Abigail Brenner, a psychiatrist, wrote in a Psychology Today post, “When you let go, you create space for something new to happen.”
Regrets over missed opportunities, mistakes, or decisions that didn’t pan out as hoped can feel heavy.
They keep us tethered to “what could have been” rather than focusing on “what can still be.”
I know getting over past regrets is easier said than done.
Letting go often feels like losing a piece of yourself.
But here’s the truth: holding onto regrets doesn’t change the past—it only robs you of your future.
Start small. Acknowledge the regret, learn from it, and then actively choose to release it.
Journaling, speaking to a trusted friend, or even professional counseling can be helpful tools in this process.
When you let go of past regrets, you free up emotional and mental energy to focus on what truly matters: the opportunities and possibilities that lie ahead.
Letting go is not forgetting—it’s choosing growth over stagnation.
Final thoughts
Taking control of your life isn’t about perfection or having all the answers—it’s about making conscious choices that align with your values and long-term goals.
By letting go of these deeply ingrained behaviors, you’re not just removing obstacles; you’re creating space for growth, self-discovery, and empowerment.
But remember, it’s a process. Change doesn’t happen overnight.
However, with intention and persistence, every step you take brings you closer to the life you truly want to live.
The most important thing? Start today.
Your future self will thank you.
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