Ever feel like you’re stuck under a microscope, constantly being judged or looked down on by friends and family?
Like no matter what you do, someone’s always got that raised eyebrow or that subtle tone that makes you feel about this small?
If so, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to put up with it.
The truth is, sometimes we unknowingly hold onto habits that keep us in this cycle of feeling belittled.
But here’s the good news: once you recognize them, you can start letting them go and regain your confidence.
In this article, we’re breaking down 9 habits that might be holding you back and giving people that unwanted upper hand.
Ready to turn the tables and say goodbye to the nonsense?
1) Seeking validation constantly
First, let’s consider a habit that’s more common than you might think – constantly seeking validation.
We all like to feel appreciated and acknowledged. But there’s a difference between wanting to be valued and craving constant approval from those around us.
When we’re always seeking validation, we often end up acting in ways that are more about pleasing others than staying true to ourselves.
This can result in feeling looked down upon because we’re not standing up for who we are.
It’s natural to want reassurance from friends and family, but when it becomes a habit, it can be detrimental to our self-esteem.
It’s essential always to remember that your worth is not defined by what others think of you but by what you think of yourself.
2) Over-apologizing
Next on the list, a habit that I personally struggled with for a long time: over-apologizing.
I used to find myself saying sorry for things that weren’t my fault, or even for just existing in a space. It was as if I was constantly apologizing for who I was, and that made me feel small and insignificant.
I realized that this habit was doing more harm than good.
Not only was it affecting my self-esteem, but it also gave others the impression that I was always in the wrong, which only reinforced the feeling of being looked down upon.
So, I decided to break this habit.
It wasn’t easy; it required conscious effort to catch myself before uttering another unnecessary apology. But over time, I found my voice becoming stronger and more confident.
3) Playing the comparison game
Have you ever noticed that when we compare ourselves to others, we often end up feeling inferior?
This is because, more often than not, we compare our behind-the-scenes with someone else’s highlight reel.
Psychologists call this “social comparison theory.” It suggests that humans have an innate drive to evaluate themselves, often in comparison to others.
While this can sometimes be a source of motivation, more frequently it leads to feelings of inadequacy and being looked down upon.
When you find yourself falling into the comparison trap, remember that everyone’s journey is different. You’re seeing just a small fragment of other people’s lives and it’s not a fair comparison.
Try to focus on your own path and progress, rather than getting caught up in how you stack up against others.
4) Holding onto grudges
Holding onto grudges is another habit that can lead to feelings of being looked down upon.
When we nurse old wounds and refuse to forgive, it can create a negative atmosphere that affects our interactions with others.
It’s important to understand that holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.
Keep in mind that forgiveness is more about your peace of mind than the person who wronged you. When we let go of past hurt, we make room for positive feelings and experiences.
5) Being overly self-critical
Overly criticizing ourselves is a habit that often goes unnoticed but can lead to feelings of being looked down upon.
When we constantly berate ourselves for our perceived shortcomings, we start to believe that we are less than others.
Being self-critical can sometimes stem from a desire to improve, but it’s important to remember that there’s a fine line between constructive self-criticism and destructive self-judgment.
If you catch yourself being overly critical, try to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Encourage yourself just as you would a friend.
6) Not setting boundaries
Setting boundaries is a form of self-care that many of us neglect.
When we fail to set boundaries with friends and family, we often end up feeling disrespected or undervalued.
Remember, it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to prioritize your needs. It’s okay to protect your energy.
These are not things that you should feel guilty about.
The people who truly care about you will respect your boundaries and value your well-being. Those who don’t might try to make you feel small, but that’s a reflection on them, not you.
7) Hiding your true self
For a long time, I found myself hiding who I truly was, trying to fit into a mold that I thought others would approve of. This meant suppressing:
- My interests
- My opinions
- My sense of style
All of this was to avoid judgment or criticism.
But over time, I realized that this was only leading to feeling undervalued and misunderstood.
The more I tried to blend in, the less I felt seen.
It took some courage, but allowing myself to be authentic, to express my true thoughts and feelings, was like taking a deep breath after being underwater for too long.
8) Neglecting self-care
When we neglect our own needs and well-being, it’s easy to start feeling less than those around us.
Self-care is not just about bubble baths and face masks, it’s about taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health.
This could mean:
- Getting enough sleep
- Eating nutritious food
- Taking time for activities you enjoy
- Seeking professional help when things get tough
When we take care of ourselves, we naturally feel more confident and valued.
Take care of yourself first, and you’ll find it easier to interact with others in a positive and healthy way.
9) Believing you are less than others
The most fundamental shift happens when you stop believing that you are less than others.
This belief is often at the root of feeling looked down upon.
Your worth is not determined by how others see you, but by how you see yourself.
You are not less than anyone. You are unique, valuable, and deserving of respect just as you are.
Final thoughts: It’s all about self-perception
As you let go of these habits, you’ll notice a shift—not just in how others treat you, but in how you feel about yourself.
And trust me, when you carry yourself with confidence, the whole world takes notice.
So, here’s to shedding those old behaviors, standing tall, and stepping into the respect you’ve always deserved!
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