If you want to be taken seriously, stop doing these 7 things in conversations

I’ve worked with so many clients who struggle to feel heard or respected in their everyday interactions.

Even in my own life, there was a time I felt invisible during important conversations—especially at networking events.

It didn’t matter if I had something valuable to say; my words got lost in a sea of chatter and self-doubt.

Over the years, I realized part of the problem was my own communication approach.

The more I studied this phenomenon, and the more I coached people to navigate social and professional spaces more confidently, the more I saw there were certain habits that cause people to check out of your story, interrupt you, or just not take you seriously.

With that in mind, I’ve put together a list of seven things to stop doing in conversations if you truly want people to pay attention to you.

These might seem small on paper, but I promise they make a massive difference in how you’re perceived.

It’s not about changing who you are; it’s about removing barriers between you and your audience, whether that’s a friend, colleague, or your manager.

So, let’s dive right in.

1. Overusing filler words

I still remember stumbling through an introduction at a professional meetup, peppering every other sentence with “like” and “you know?”

It felt harmless at first, but I noticed how the other person’s eyes started shifting away and how quickly they tried to end the conversation.

It was an instant credibility killer.

The pros over at Inc stand behind this, noting that frequent use of filler words can convey uncertainty.

When you can’t express yourself clearly and confidently, your listener might assume you don’t know what you’re talking about—even if you do.

So how do you cut this out? Start by recording yourself speaking. Whether it’s a voice memo or a video, you’ll quickly notice every “um” and “uh.”

From there, practice slow, mindful speech. Pausing is absolutely okay. A moment of silence is far better than distracting filler words that undercut your credibility.

2. Apologizing unnecessarily

I see it all the time, especially with women who’ve been conditioned to keep the peace: “I’m sorry, but can I just say something?” “Sorry, I don’t mean to bother you…”

I know I used to pepper these apologies into my everyday conversations too. It might sound polite, but it can come across as if you’re asking permission to speak.

A real apology is for when you’ve caused harm or genuinely made a mistake.

Apologizing constantly for simply existing in a conversation sends the signal that your ideas aren’t valuable. It can also make the other person less inclined to take your statements seriously.

Instead, try phrases like, “Excuse me, I’d like to add…” or “Let me jump in here.”

That small shift from sorry to self-assured can change the entire tone of an interaction. If you catch yourself about to say “I’m sorry” when there’s no real cause, take a breath and reframe your words.

3. Interrupting and one-upping

I once had a friend who, the moment I started talking about a recent milestone, would jump in with her own bigger, better story.

It was disheartening and left me feeling like my experiences weren’t important. Eventually, I withdrew from sharing anything with her.

This is the danger of interrupting or “one-upping”—the conversation becomes a competition rather than a dialogue.

If you find yourself cutting people off mid-sentence because you can’t wait to share your perspective, work on listening without planning your next statement.

If your conversation partner feels constantly interrupted, they’ll likely stop sharing openly or tuning in to you as well.

One-upping can be even more off-putting. When someone tells you they just got a promotion, resist the urge to say, “Oh, I just got a major raise at my job!”

Celebrate their moment or empathize with their situation first. Leave space for them to finish, and then contribute your own experiences.

You’ll find that people trust you more when you listen fully and don’t compete in every exchange.

4. Dismissing or downplaying your own points

“Maybe it’s just me, but…” “I might be wrong, but…”

Do you ever catch yourself introducing your thoughts with disclaimers like these? When you do this, you practically tell the other person, “Feel free not to listen, this probably isn’t worth your time.”

That might not be your intention, but that’s often what comes across.

I used to believe that hedging my statements would make me sound kinder or more open-minded.

In reality, it drained the power from my words. If you want to be taken seriously, let your ideas stand confidently on their own.

Sure, it’s great to remain humble and acknowledge that you don’t know everything. But there’s a fine line between humility and actively minimizing your own contributions.

Michelle Obama once remarked, “Your story is what you have, what you will always have. It is something to own.” So own it.

If you’ve done your homework or had life experiences that shape your perspective, bring them to the table unapologetically.

You can always be open to feedback and new information without watering down your initial stance.

5. Neglecting genuine listening

We often think about “being taken seriously” as a function of how we speak, but listening is half the battle.

Have you ever spoken to someone who only nods absentmindedly, checking their phone or looking around the room? It’s infuriating.

And it also makes you assume they have zero interest in your insights.

If you want others to respect you, give them the same courtesy. Genuinely listen when they talk. Maintain a comfortable level of eye contact.

Ask clarifying questions instead of waiting for your turn to speak. The folks at Verywell Mind highlight that active listening involves more than just hearing words—it’s about understanding the message.

When people feel heard, they’re more inclined to reciprocate and value your words just as much.

In a previous post I wrote on building strong professional relationships, I touched on active listening as a powerful skill—one that can make or break how people perceive you in any setting.

It’s not a passive act; it’s a deliberate choice to validate someone else’s voice. This leads people to see you as empathetic, attentive, and worth their attention in return.

6. Refusing to let go of gossip

We’ve all indulged in a little gossip now and again, but making it a go-to conversation topic can wreck your credibility in seconds.

It signals that you might do the same behind your current conversation partner’s back. There’s also the negativity factor—harping on rumors or putting people down creates an environment of distrust.

Gossip also distracts from more meaningful topics. Instead of bringing people together, it drives a wedge.

Your listener might laugh along politely in the moment, but they’ll wonder how seriously to take you if you don’t respect other people’s boundaries or reputations.

Maya Angelou once wrote, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

If you frequently dish out private details about others, people will believe you to be someone who can’t keep a confidence.

That’s a surefire way to lose respect in both personal and professional circles.

7. Taking your phone hostage

I’ve saved a big one until last, friends. We’re all guilty of this sometimes, especially in an age where our devices demand so much attention.

But if you’re constantly glancing at your phone, responding to messages, or scrolling while someone is trying to talk to you, you’re effectively saying, “You’re not important enough to have my full attention.”

It doesn’t just hurt the other person. It hurts your own credibility because you come across as scattered and unreliable.

If you’re in a professional or important personal conversation, silence your phone or place it face down. Better yet, keep it out of sight.

Daniel Goleman has emphasized that focus is crucial for meaningful connections, pointing out that divided attention can fracture empathy and understanding.

Giving someone your full focus shows you respect them—and that in turn raises the level of respect they have for you. Simple, but powerful.

Final thoughts

All these habits—filler words, constant apologies, interruptions, self-doubt, inattentive listening, gossip, and smartphone distractions—might sound minor.

But collectively, they have the power to derail how seriously people take you.

It’s not about becoming robotic or overly formal. It’s about communicating your ideas with clarity and respect for your audience—and for yourself.

A conversation is a shared experience. The better you are at presenting yourself with confidence and empathy, the more naturally people will lean in when you speak.

Take it one step at a time. Maybe start by cutting out unnecessary apologies or limiting gossip. You’ll likely be surprised at how quickly people’s responses to you shift. Confidence is contagious.

When you believe your words are worth hearing, others begin to believe it too.