9 things you’re doing in public that people secretly judge you for

We all want to make a good impression, right? But sometimes, without realizing it, we do things that make others silently judge us.

I’m not talking about the big faux pas like talking loudly on your cell phone in a quiet coffee shop. I mean those little habits we have that may seem harmless but are quietly being judged by those around us.

And yes, we all do them. So don’t worry, you’re not alone.

This article is going to clue you in on 9 things you’re doing in public that people secretly judge you for.

Let’s get started.

1) Constant cell phone usage

Let’s face it, we’re a society obsessed with our phones. But there’s a line between staying connected and being downright rude.

And guess what? People notice.

When you’re constantly on your phone in public, especially during social gatherings or at meals, it gives off the impression that you’re disinterested in your surroundings or the people around you.

It might seem like a harmless habit to you, especially if you’re just quickly checking your messages or scrolling through social media. But to others around you, it can come off as disrespectful and dismissive.

So next time you’re in public, try putting your phone away for a bit. Engage with those around you. You might be surprised at how much more enjoyable the real world can be – plus, you’ll avoid those secret judgemental looks.

2) Being too loud

This one hits close to home for me. I’ve got a naturally loud voice – my friends always joke that I don’t need a microphone. But here’s the thing, not everyone appreciates a booming voice in public places.

There was this one time, I was at a cozy café with a friend, engrossed in a fascinating conversation. We were laughing, talking, and having a blast. It wasn’t until the barista gently asked us to lower our volume that I realized – we were the loudest people in the room.

I looked around and saw subtle glances of relief from other customers. It was clear – we were being judged for our volume and had been too oblivious to notice.

Ever since that day, I’ve made a conscious effort to monitor my volume and adapt it to my surroundings. It’s not just about being respectful to others around you, it’s also about presenting yourself as considerate and socially aware.

3) Not respecting personal space

In some cultures, standing close to others is a sign of warmth and friendliness. In others, it’s considered invasive and uncomfortable. The standard ‘personal space bubble’ in the United States is approximately an arm’s length away, according to researchers.

Whether you’re in line at the grocery store or chatting with someone at a networking event, it’s important to be aware of this invisible boundary. Crossing into someone’s personal space can make them feel uncomfortable and can lead to you being perceived as overbearing or disrespectful.

When you’re interacting with someone, especially someone you’ve just met, ensure there’s enough space between you to keep things comfortable. It might be a small thing, but it can make a big difference in how people perceive you.

4) Eating messily

We’ve all had moments where we’ve battled with a stubborn sandwich or struggled with a slippery slice of pizza. But our table manners, especially when eating in public, do not go unnoticed.

Chewing with your mouth open, talking with food in your mouth, or making a mess around your eating area can make others around you uncomfortable. It’s not just about the sight, but also the sound and overall eating experience that can lead people to secretly judge you.

Make sure you’re mindful of your dining etiquette. Remember, it’s not a race. Take your time to enjoy your food and maintain good table manners. It might seem trivial but it’s one of those things that can significantly influence how others perceive you.

5) Ignoring common courtesies

Common courtesies, like saying “please”, “thank you”, or holding the door open for the person behind you, might seem old-fashioned to some, but they’re far from obsolete. These small gestures of politeness are deeply ingrained in our social fabric and play a crucial role in how we interact with each other.

Ignoring these unspoken rules can make you come off as rude or uncaring, even if that’s not your intention. It’s not just about following societal norms, but also about demonstrating respect for others.

Don’t forget your manners. They might seem small and insignificant, but they can have a big impact on how others perceive you.

6) Judging others openly

We’re all human, and it’s natural to form opinions about the people and situations we encounter. However, openly judging others in public is not only unkind, but it also causes others to view you in a negative light.

The old saying “treat others how you’d like to be treated” rings true here. Imagine how you’d feel if you were on the receiving end of such judgement.

In a world where we’re often quick to criticize and slow to empathize, let’s strive to be kinder, more understanding, and less judgemental. The next time you catch yourself judging someone else, put yourself in their shoes.

Everyone is fighting their own battles that we know nothing about. Being kind and respectful goes a long way and it’s one of the best ways to be viewed positively by those around you.

7) Constant complaining

I’ve been there – a bad day at work, a delayed flight, or even just a spilled cup of coffee can set off a chain of complaints. It’s easy to fall into the trap of negativity, especially when things don’t go our way.

However, I’ve learned the hard way that constant complaining doesn’t help the situation and can even push people away. It was a wake-up call for me when a close friend pointed out my constant negativity. That day, I realized that my habit of complaining was not only affecting my mood but also how others perceived me.

Instead of focusing on the negatives, try to find the silver lining or at least keep the complaints to a minimum. It’s not about pretending everything is perfect but more about maintaining a positive attitude, even in challenging situations.

Trust me, it makes a significant difference in how people see you and how you feel about yourself.

8) Being late

Time is a valuable commodity, and when you keep others waiting, it can be seen as a lack of respect for their time. Being habitually late for appointments or meet-ups sends a message that your time is more important than theirs.

Of course, unexpected situations can occur that may cause you to run late occasionally. However, if it becomes a regular occurrence, it’s time to reassess your time management skills.

Proactive steps such as planning ahead, setting reminders, or leaving earlier than necessary can help mitigate this issue. Being punctual is not only about being on time but also about respecting others’ time – and that’s something people always appreciate.

9) Lack of empathy

In the hustle and bustle of our busy lives, it’s easy to get wrapped up in our own world and forget to consider the feelings and experiences of others. Lack of empathy, whether intentional or not, can be one of the most off-putting behaviours in any social setting.

Empathy is about understanding and sharing the feelings of others. It’s about recognizing that everyone has their own story, their own struggles, and their own victories.

Strive to be more empathetic in your interactions. Listen more. Understand more. Judge less. This alone can dramatically improve how others perceive you and make you a person people want to be around.

Final thoughts: It’s all about awareness

Renowned philosopher Socrates once said, “An unexamined life is not worth living”. This holds true for our social behaviors as well. Examining our actions, being aware of how they might be perceived by others, can make a world of difference in our interactions.

From respecting personal space to practicing empathy, these seemingly small changes can dramatically shift how people perceive us. It’s not about pretending or putting up a façade, it’s about genuinely striving to be a considerate and socially-conscious individual.

As you navigate your social landscape, remember this: We’re all human, and we’re all learning. Be patient with yourself and others. And remember, every step you take towards self-improvement counts.