9 behaviors you should never tolerate from your partner, according to psychology

It’s tough sometimes to know where to draw the line between accepting your partner’s quirks and putting up with things you really shouldn’t.

The big difference is respect. We often think being patient means letting things slide, but that can actually wear down your self-respect.

Psychology can help us figure out what’s okay to tolerate in a relationship and what isn’t. Knowing these things can help you set boundaries and build healthier relationships.

Let’s look at nine behaviors that just aren’t okay in a partnership.

1) Lack of respect

In any relationship, respect is vital.

Psychology backs this up, stating that a lack of respect can lead to emotional distress.

Respect isn’t just about chivalry or manners. It’s about valuing your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences as much as your own.

When there’s a lack of respect, it often manifests in dismissive behavior, belittling comments, or even outright contempt. These are harmful behaviors that you should never tolerate.

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. In a relationship, this principle is no exception.

2) Dishonesty

Trust me, dishonesty is a behavior that can corrode the foundation of any relationship.

I’ve been there. In my past relationship, I had a partner who seemed to have a habit of bending the truth. It started with small things like saying he had paid the bills when he hadn’t or claiming he was working late when he was out with friends. I brushed it off initially, thinking they were just harmless white lies.

But as time went on, the lies grew bigger and more consequential. It shook my trust in him and created a constant undercurrent of doubt. That’s when I realized, no matter how small or big, dishonesty is a harmful behavior that can’t be tolerated.

Honesty plays a pivotal role in fostering trust and maintaining the emotional health of both individuals in a relationship. If your partner consistently lies, it’s a serious issue that needs addressing, for your sake and the sake of your relationship.

3) Emotional manipulation

Emotional manipulation can be subtle, but it’s equally, if not more, harmful. It’s when your partner plays with your feelings to serve their own needs or achieve their goals.

This behavior can take many forms, like guilt-tripping you into doing something, playing the victim when they’re at fault, or making you feel bad for expressing your feelings.

Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that people who frequently use emotional manipulation are more likely to have high levels of narcissism and antisocial behavior.

Being aware of this behavior is the first step to not falling prey to it. If your partner resorts to emotional manipulation often, it’s time to reassess and take action.

4) Consistent criticism

Constructive criticism can be beneficial in a relationship, helping partners grow and improve. But when criticism becomes constant and harsh, it veers into the territory of psychological abuse.

When your partner continually criticizes you, whether it’s about your appearance, your habits, or your personality, it chips away at your self-esteem. This behavior can leave you feeling inadequate and unworthy.

When criticism is more frequent than compliments, it can cause significant emotional distress and affect the quality of the relationship.

If you find that your interactions with your partner are more critical than supportive, it might be time to address this issue. Everyone deserves to be in a relationship that uplifts and celebrates them, not one that constantly puts them down.

5) Failure to communicate

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship.

It’s how we express our feelings, share our thoughts, and resolve disagreements. But when your partner consistently fails to communicate effectively, be it through stonewalling or refusing to engage in meaningful conversation, it can feel incredibly isolating.

Psychology points out that healthy communication is key to resolving conflicts and fostering understanding in a relationship. A partner who habitually avoids communication is not only neglecting your emotional needs but also hindering the growth of the relationship.

If you’re continually struggling to get your partner to open up or engage in an effective dialogue, it’s a behavior that you shouldn’t overlook. Addressing this issue can pave the way for a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

6) Controlling behavior

Love should never feel like a cage.

Unfortunately, some people mistake controlling behavior for care or protection. It’s neither. It’s a form of emotional abuse that strips away your freedom and individuality.

Whether it’s dictating what you wear, who you meet, or how you spend your time, such controlling behavior stifles your personal growth and can leave you feeling trapped.

A healthy relationship respects personal space and individuality. Your partner should encourage your autonomy, not curb it.

If you find yourself constantly being micromanaged or controlled by your partner, let me tell you – it’s not love. It’s a behavior that is damaging to both your self-esteem and the relationship, and one that should never be tolerated.

7) Verbal abuse

Words have power. They can lift us up, or they can tear us down.

I remember a time when I was in a relationship where I was constantly berated. My partner would use harsh words and insults during arguments, leaving me feeling small and worthless. It took me a while to realize that this wasn’t normal or acceptable.

Verbal abuse, disguised as harsh criticism or cruel jokes, is a form of violence that leaves deep emotional scars. No one should be subjected to demeaning language or insults, especially from someone they love.

Psychology warns that verbal abuse often escalates over time and can lead to severe emotional trauma if not addressed. If your partner consistently uses harsh language or insults you, it’s a behavior you must confront and seek help for immediately.

8) Violation of trust

Trust is a pillar of any relationship.

It’s the glue that holds everything together. But when your partner violates this trust, be it through infidelity, deceit, or broken promises, it can shatter the foundation of your relationship.

Trust, once broken, is challenging to rebuild and can lead to feelings of insecurity and resentment. It’s crucial to have a partner who values and upholds the trust you place in them.

If your partner consistently violates your trust, it’s a behavior you shouldn’t tolerate. It’s essential to address the issue and take necessary steps to protect your emotional wellbeing.

9) Disregard for boundaries

Boundaries, physical or emotional, are fundamental in a relationship.

They help maintain respect and protect your individuality. But when your partner consistently disregards these boundaries, it’s a form of disrespect and a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship.

A partner who invades your personal space, dismisses your feelings, or constantly pushes your boundaries, doesn’t truly value you or the relationship. It’s essential to have a partner who respects and adheres to the boundaries you set.

If your partner continually ignores or dismisses your boundaries, it’s a behavior you should never tolerate. Remember, you have the right to feel comfortable and secure in your relationship.