Sometimes, people aren’t always what they seem. That’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s true.
We meet people who appear nice on the surface, but under that veneer, they may not be so pleasant.
The tricky part is figuring out who’s genuinely good and who’s just putting on a show.
In this article, we’re diving into 8 signs that reveal if someone isn’t truly a good person, despite their friendly facade.
They’re subtle markers, but once you know them, you’ll be better equipped to discern the real from the fake in your social circles.
Let’s get started.
1) They play the victim
We’ve all met these types of people.
They’re the ones who always seem to be in the middle of some crisis or another. It might seem like they’re just unlucky, but take a closer look.
Are they always blaming others for their problems? Do they never take responsibility for their actions?
This is a classic sign of someone who may not be as good as they seem. Playing the victim allows them to manipulate others and avoid facing their own shortcomings.
Everyone has bad days or even bad years. But if someone is constantly in crisis mode and never owns up to their part in it, you might want to reconsider their place in your life.
2) They’re always one-upping
Ever tried to share a story or an experience, only to have someone else jump in with an even “better” or more “dramatic” version of their own?
I recall a friend who would always, and I mean always, try to top my stories. If I talked about a challenging work project, she’d counter with a near-impossible task she’d tackled. If I shared a fun weekend getaway, she’d recount her extravagant overseas trip.
It was exhausting. And frankly, it made me feel like my experiences were invalid or unimportant.
This constant one-upping is a clear sign of someone who’s more interested in themselves than in you. A good person listens, empathizes, and allows you to have your moment. They don’t constantly try to steal the spotlight.
3) They lack empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a fundamental trait for forming meaningful, healthy relationships.
Those who lack empathy have a hard time stepping into someone else’s shoes. They struggle to understand or appreciate the emotions, experiences, and problems of others.
Psychologists have found that lack of empathy is a common trait in people with narcissistic personality disorder. This inability to empathize makes it difficult for them to form genuine connections, leading often to manipulative behavior.
If you find someone consistently dismissive of your feelings or indifferent to your struggles, it might be a sign they’re not as good as they seem.
4) They’re inconsistent
We all change over time, but consistent behaviour is a key sign of a genuine person.
Have you ever known someone who seems like a completely different person from one day to the next? One day they’re your best friend, and the next, they’re cold and distant.
This inconsistency can be confusing and emotionally draining. It’s often a sign of someone who is not being honest about their feelings or intentions.
Trustworthy people are reliable. They say what they mean, and they mean what they say. Inconsistency might be a hint that something is off beneath the surface.
5) They’re quick to judge
We’ve all made snap judgements at times – it’s part of being human. But there’s a difference between an occasional lapse and a pattern of judgemental behaviour.
I’ve encountered people who seem to have an endless supply of criticisms for others. Whether it’s about someone’s clothes, career, or personal choices, they always have something negative to say.
It’s hurtful. It can make you feel as if you’re constantly walking on eggshells, worried about their next critique.
Everyone has the right to their opinions. But a good person knows how to express them without belittling or demeaning others. If someone is regularly judgmental, it may be a sign that they’re harbouring more negativity than you realize.
6) They don’t respect boundaries
Boundaries are crucial for healthy relationships. They help us maintain our individuality and self-respect.
I once had a friend who regularly crossed my boundaries. If I didn’t reply to a text immediately, she’d bombard me with messages or calls. She’d show up at my place unannounced, even when I’d told her I needed some alone time.
It felt like she had no regard for my personal space or feelings. Over time, it wore me down and strained our friendship.
If someone constantly pushes your boundaries and dismisses your feelings, it’s a clear sign they may not respect you as much as a good person should.
7) They’re always taking, never giving
Relationships are a two-way street. They involve give and take. But have you ever known someone who seems to be always on the receiving end?
Maybe they’re always asking for favours, but never available when you need help. Or perhaps they’re quick to accept your generosity, but stingy when it comes to returning the favour.
This kind of one-sided behaviour is a red flag. It indicates a lack of consideration for your needs and feelings.
A truly good person knows the value of reciprocity. They understand that relationships are about mutual support and respect.
8) They don’t apologize
We all make mistakes. What sets good people apart is their ability to acknowledge their faults and apologize sincerely.
If someone never says sorry or always finds a way to shift the blame, it’s a serious red flag. It shows a lack of maturity and accountability.
An authentic apology demonstrates respect, empathy, and humility. Without it, relationships can become a breeding ground for resentment and mistrust. So remember, a good person knows when to say “I’m sorry.”
Final thought: It’s about self-awareness
It’s important to remember that people aren’t all good or all bad. We all have our flaws, our moments of weakness, and lapses in judgement. What matters is our awareness of these shortcomings and our efforts to improve.
The psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
So as we navigate the world, encountering people who may not be as good as they seem, let’s also turn the mirror on ourselves. Let’s strive to be honest, empathetic, and kind – the kind of good people we wish to see in the world.
After all, our actions and attitudes can influence those around us more than we might realize.
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