8 phrases strong women use to set boundaries in a relationship

There’s a clear line between asserting yourself and being domineering in a relationship.

The distinction lies in respect. Being domineering often involves disrespecting your partner’s feelings and needs, while asserting yourself is all about setting healthy boundaries that protect your well-being.

As a strong woman, you have the power to set these boundaries in a loving, yet firm way. And as a relationship expert, I, Tina Fey, can tell you that there are certain phrases that can help you do just that.

Here are some key phrases I’ve come to rely on over the years to help set boundaries in any relationship.

1) No means no

In the realm of relationships, setting boundaries is an essential skill for maintaining respect and understanding.

And one of the most straightforward yet powerful phrases strong women use to establish these boundaries is a simple, “No.”

“No” is a complete sentence. It does not require justification or explanation. It is a clear, definitive response that leaves no room for misinterpretation.

Consider this the relationship equivalent of social proof. Just as consumers follow the crowd’s decisions, partners in a relationship often base their actions on the clear boundaries set by their significant other.

When faced with a situation that infringes on your personal comfort or values, saying “No” enables you to assert yourself without being aggressive or confrontational.

2) “I need some space”

The second phrase that strong women, like myself, often use is, “I need some space”. This phrase helps to create physical or emotional distance when needed, which is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.

Asking for space isn’t about pushing your partner away; it’s about respecting your own needs and allowing yourself time to recharge or process thoughts and feelings.

Remember the wise words of Maya Angelou, “Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.”

And I couldn’t agree more. Sometimes, we all need a little space to breathe, think and regain our energy. Using this phrase helps to communicate this need in a respectful and considerate manner.

It’s okay to prioritize your mental health and well-being. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup. So don’t shy away from using this phrase when needed.

3) “Let’s discuss this”

Communication is the foundation of every successful relationship. And as a strong woman, one phrase I often use is, “Let’s discuss this.”

This phrase encourages open and honest conversation, allowing both partners to express their feelings, concerns, and ideas. It’s about creating a safe space where both parties feel heard and understood.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss in detail how effective communication can help you set clear boundaries and maintain a healthy relationship.

Using the phrase “Let’s discuss this” promotes mutual understanding and respect. It emphasizes the importance of teamwork and compromise in a relationship. And most importantly, it shows that your voice matters.

Remember, ladies – Your opinions are valid, and your feelings are important. So don’t be afraid to speak up and initiate a discussion when needed.

4) “I agree to disagree”

This phrase might seem counterintuitive in the context of setting boundaries. After all, isn’t the whole point of a boundary to stand your ground?

But here’s the thing – sometimes, agreeing to disagree is the most respectful boundary you can set in a relationship.

In any partnership, there will be differences of opinion. It’s normal and healthy. But when disagreements escalate into arguments, it might be time to use this phrase.

“I agree to disagree” is a powerful statement. It communicates that while you respect your partner’s viewpoint, you also hold firm to your own beliefs and values.

It’s not about winning or losing an argument; it’s about acknowledging and respecting the differences that make each of us unique.

5) “That’s not okay with me”

Over the years, one phrase that has proven to be particularly effective in setting boundaries is, “That’s not okay with me.”

This phrase is powerful because it allows you to express your discomfort or disagreement without blaming or criticizing the other person. It puts the focus on your feelings and needs, which is crucial when establishing boundaries.

In my own relationships, I’ve found that using this phrase can open up a dialogue about what’s acceptable behavior and what’s not. It creates a platform for understanding and empathy, fostering a greater mutual respect.

It’s perfectly fine to express when something doesn’t sit well with you. Because, at the end of the day, your feelings are valid and should be respected.

6) “I feel hurt when…”

This one’s a raw, honest phrase that can be challenging to say out loud. “I feel hurt when…” is a phrase that unveils the vulnerability beneath the strong exterior.

But here’s the truth – expressing your hurt is not a sign of weakness; it’s an act of courage and self-respect. It’s about being honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings.

This phrase communicates clearly how specific actions or words affect you. It encourages your partner to understand your perspective and fosters empathy within the relationship.

By saying “I feel hurt when…”, you’re opening up a dialogue about your feelings, creating room for understanding and change. It’s not about blaming the other person—it’s about conveying how their actions impact you.

Expressing your emotions honestly is an essential part of setting boundaries. It’s okay to let your guard down and show your vulnerability sometimes. Because that’s where genuine connection begins.

7) “I deserve respect”

As a relationship expert, I’ve come to understand the power of self-worth. And one phrase that strongly encapsulates this is, “I deserve respect.”

Respect is the cornerstone of every healthy relationship. And every strong woman knows that she deserves nothing less.

The phrase “I deserve respect” serves as a reminder to both yourself and your partner about the importance of mutual respect in a relationship. It’s a powerful assertion of your worth and a clear boundary that should never be crossed.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once wisely said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

In my own experience, repeating this phrase in situations where I felt disrespected has helped me maintain my self-esteem and reinforce my boundaries.

You are valuable, and your feelings matter. Don’t settle for anything less than the respect you deserve.

Related article: 10 things you don’t owe anyone an explanation for, according to psychology

8) “This is my limit”

Our final phrase cuts straight to the heart of boundary-setting: “This is my limit.”

Raw and honest, this phrase clearly communicates where your boundaries lie. It’s a declaration of your personal limits, a line in the sand that shows others where they can and cannot tread.

“This is my limit” makes it clear that you know your worth, understand your needs, and are not afraid to protect them.

It can be challenging to utter these words. It requires courage, self-awareness, and a firm belief in your own worth. But remember, expressing this honestly is an act of self-respect.

Using this phrase doesn’t mean you’re inflexible or uncompromising; it means you value yourself enough to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

It’s not just about setting boundaries; it’s about honouring them. Your limits matter, so don’t be afraid to voice them.

Conclusion

Setting boundaries in a relationship is all about respect, communication, and understanding. The phrases we’ve explored are tools that can help you express your needs and limits clearly and assertively.

Being a strong woman is about respecting yourself enough to set these boundaries and sticking to them. As I discuss in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, it’s vital to prioritize your well-being and maintain a healthy balance in your relationships.

Don’t be afraid to use these phrases. They’re not just words; they’re affirmations of your self-worth and tools for building healthier, happier relationships. Because remember, your needs matter too.