James Sexton, a seasoned divorce lawyer, is no stranger to the pain and heartbreak that often accompanies failed relationships. Yet, despite his immersion in the world of marital breakdowns, Sexton is an outspoken advocate for the pursuit of true love. He believes love adds depth and beauty to life’s inevitable challenges, making it a “worthwhile investment.”
Speaking candidly with Steven Bartlett on an episode of The Diary of a CEO podcast, Sexton shared his unique perspective. “If you’ve ever met someone who is happily married over a long period of time,” Sexton said, “[they’ve] won the lottery. Their lives are just so much better.”
In his signature straightforward style, Sexton didn’t shy away from discussing life’s harsh realities. “Life is terrifying, and it’s brutal — and it ends. It invariably ends. We’re all gonna die! Everyone we love’s gonna die,” he declared. “We’re playing a game you can’t win to the utmost.”
Amid these sobering truths, Sexton highlighted the profound value of companionship. He described love as a partnership that provides solace during life’s most difficult moments. “To have a partner in that, someone who you can hold their hand and go, ‘You know, when you’re scared, I’ll be here for you, and when I’m scared, you’ll be here for me,’” he said, emphasizing the comfort such relationships bring.
The Key to True Love: Embracing Discomfort
Sexton’s belief in love isn’t just idealistic; it’s grounded in the realities he’s observed throughout his career. He argued that the secret to finding and maintaining true love lies in the willingness to face discomfort and confront one’s flaws. “You’ll help me see my blind spots, and I’ll help you see yours,” he explained.
However, Sexton acknowledged that this level of vulnerability isn’t easy. Avoiding uncomfortable truths, he warned, can undermine even the strongest relationships. “You gotta be uncomfortable once in a while,” he said. “Avoiding vulnerability can be the downfall of a relationship.”
This candid approach to love and partnership requires honesty, even when it means saying things the other person might not want to hear. Sexton argued that such honesty fosters genuine connection and intimacy, helping couples stay satisfied and reducing the temptation to seek fulfillment elsewhere.
Hard Truths and Enduring Lessons
Sexton’s insights extend beyond relationships, touching on life’s broader challenges. “The hard thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing,” he said, offering a powerful reminder of the effort required for meaningful pursuits, including love.
His perspective, informed by years of witnessing relationships crumble, adds weight to his advice. While many might expect a divorce lawyer to be cynical about love, Sexton’s belief in its transformative power underscores its importance in human life.
A Societal Reality Check
Sexton’s views also challenge modern narratives that prioritize comfort and happiness above all else. His emphasis on vulnerability and resilience echoes findings from psychological studies, which highlight the importance of communication and honesty in maintaining strong bonds.
By normalizing discomfort as a natural part of growth, Sexton’s perspective offers a roadmap for navigating love and relationships. His approach addresses common fears of confrontation and discomfort, encouraging individuals to embrace these moments as opportunities for deeper connection.
Love as a Source of Solace
Sexton’s candid acknowledgment of life’s inevitabilities serves as a reminder of love’s ability to provide solace. He stressed the importance of having someone to share life’s trials with, reiterating that love’s value lies not only in joyous moments but also in enduring hardships together.
Ultimately, Sexton’s reflections provide a refreshing, realistic view of love. They remind us that while love can be challenging, it remains one of life’s most rewarding endeavors. His belief that “the hard thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing” is a poignant piece of advice for anyone striving to build meaningful relationships.
Sexton’s wisdom, derived from a career spent helping others untangle their broken relationships, offers a valuable perspective in a world often enchanted by idealized notions of love. His emphasis on discomfort, honesty, and growth paints a picture of love that is both raw and resilient.
As society grapples with shifting dynamics in relationships, Sexton’s advice provides a necessary reality check. His words challenge us to consider whether we’re ready to embrace discomfort for the sake of true connection. For those willing to take on this challenge, the rewards may well be worth the effort. As Sexton succinctly concluded, “What a worthy pursuit that is.”
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
