A young woman’s relationship is on the rocks due to her boyfriend’s poor dental hygiene. Despite her attempts to improve his habits, his failure to properly brush his teeth has left her questioning the future of their relationship. Her fixation on cleanliness, driven by her own battle with OCD, has added fuel to an already heated debate on Reddit about personal care and respect in partnerships.
The woman, 19, has been dating her boyfriend, 20, for nearly a year. She suffers from a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder that makes her hypersensitive to bad smells. This has made her particularly attuned to her boyfriend’s personal hygiene habits.
Her boyfriend is a frequent cannabis smoker, a habit she initially tried to mitigate due to the strong smell it left on him. However, as his cannabis smell diminished, she began noticing a different, unpleasant odor. In her words:
“I unfortunately started smelling something odd. I couldn’t figure out what it was but it was with him. And one day I pointed out he had food on his teeth and he got it off and stretched open his mouth wide and to my absolute disgust and horror: he had plaque on the bottom of his teeth that was bright yellow.
“Honestly, I was repulsed. After that I was trying to subtly help it out, got him matching mouthwashes with me, tongue scrappers, and a water flosser all under saying “It’s best to get into the same routine now, so it’s easier to combine our schedules” or whatever lie. I just needed it to be better.
“But it didn’t get better. His teeth are like magnets to food and food sticks there and I point it out to him, he’d wipe it away. But the more I had to tell him the more I fixated on his teeth, and in result he started to get annoyed/embarrassed even though I’d tell him privately just to help him out. I understand it could be seen as rude but honestly why would I want to kiss someone and end up getting crumbs or food particles that have been sitting in there for who knows how long??”
The situation escalated when she noticed his gums were bleeding after he wiped food from his teeth. When she asked if he brushed his gums, he defended himself by saying he knew how to brush his teeth. Unable to hold back any longer, she confronted him about the smell, plaque build-up, and the unpleasant residue left after they kissed.
He reacted defensively, arguing that plaque was normal and accusing her of overreacting. Their argument left him upset and her feeling unapologetic about voicing her concerns. The incident sparked an ongoing debate about personal hygiene standards within their relationship, with mixed feedback from online commentators.
Some supported her stance, recommending that he visit a dentist or hygienist for a professional cleaning. Others questioned the woman’s tolerance for cannabis smoke despite her claims of hating bad smells. One particular Reddit user said:
“Everyone’s focusing on his hygiene and not the fact that your trying to change things you knew about him with a holier than thou attitude. Makes sense with the religious background tbh but it also comes off as really rude and snobby. Your mad he smells like weed but you smoke with him? You know you don’t magically avoid the smell yourself right? You’re just not compatible.”
This situation illustrates a common dilemma in relationships: where to draw the line when it comes to personal habits and hygiene. In this case, the woman’s OCD makes her particularly sensitive to smells and cleanliness, which exacerbates the issue. However, it raises a broader question about respect for one’s partner and their comfort levels.
While the boyfriend is entitled to his habits and lifestyle, neglecting basic dental hygiene to the point of causing discomfort to his partner can be seen as a lack of consideration. On the other hand, the woman’s constant reminders about his dental hygiene could be viewed as intrusive and controlling. It’s a delicate balance, highlighting the importance of communication and compromise in relationships.
The introduction of cannabis use into the mix adds another layer of complexity. While they both partake in smoking, the woman seems more concerned about the smell it leaves on her boyfriend rather than on herself. This might hint at a level of cognitive dissonance, with her OCD-driven need for cleanliness clashing with her acceptance of cannabis culture.
The online responses to their predicament reflect a wide range of perspectives, from support for her concerns about dental hygiene to criticism of her attempts to change her boyfriend’s habits. It’s a reminder that personal standards for cleanliness can vary widely, and what one person may deem acceptable, another might find repulsive.
Ultimately, this situation underscores the need for open discussion about personal habits and lifestyle choices in relationships, especially when they directly impact a partner’s comfort or health. Whether it’s smoking weed or brushing teeth, these seemingly small issues can have significant implications for relationship satisfaction and longevity.
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