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Stupid Questions at the Help Desk

By Edward Cone on 2010-08-04


[UPDATE: More stories here, plus, Am I too PC or not PC enough?] We’ve all heard the tale of the clueless computer user who is told by the Help Desk to press any key and responds by asking, “Which one is the ‘any’ key?” And then there’s the newbie who thinks the disk-tray on his PC is a cup-holder. I’ve always supposed that these chestnuts and others like them were apocryphal stories, meant to make us feel better about our own sometimes-tenuous grasp of technology. But what if these users are real? SysAid Technologies, an Israeli IT service management provider, asked IT managers around the world for true and bizarre service requests. The company distributed a list of memorable responses, some of which appear below. Did these anecdotes really happen? The ones with names attached carry more weight with me than the anonymous entries, but you can decide for yourself. It may be that the high percentage of incidents involving women indicates the persistence of the old, misogynistic IT culture. Got a story of your own? Send it along, and we can create our own list.
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I asked a user in London to copy a disk and then FedEx it to me. I was astounded to receive an actual printed photocopy of the disk. David Bulliment, Maui Economic Opportunity, Inc., Hawaii

I received several calls from a lady whose system kept locking up. She had a pacemaker. She put on a ground strap, and everything began working perfectly, but it interfered with her pacemaker. I guess she just had to use pen and paper after that. Robert Phillips, City of Garden City, Kansas

A man said, "I can’t get the disc out, I have tried butter knives, screw drivers, pliers, NOTHING will work.” I asked if he had tried the eject button. “What eject button?” he responded. The machine was now actually broken. Michael Aird, Apache Energy Ltd, Australia

A service request turned out to be about installing a Christmas tree. The lights were not flashing. I had to travel 45 minutes, but in the end, she had the perfect Christmas tree. Freddy Gonzalez, Chatwin Company, Dominican Republic

Last winter a user submitted a ticket for me to make the snow stop. This occurred in January and I closed the ticket in May. Job done, sometimes it just takes a while. Anonymous

A user was trying to restart her computer following a new implementation. Our first response was, "Did you restart your PC"? She said yes, and showed us by turning the monitor on and off several times. Anonymous

I was asked to solve the following Adobe Reader issue: Click. Problem solved. Dev Lunsford, The Message Trust, United Kingdom

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